It's the things we love most, that destroy us

Chapter 7

Drowsily i open my eyes, one side of my face aches with an intense pain, which must've been from when I was hit in the head therefore causing my blackout from earlier. My limp body rests on a bed of silk, that is smooth and calming against my skin, a luxury even my parents as victors can't afford due to the mouth dropping price. The room was adorned in stunning mahogany furniture, priceless lamps and colourful paintings surrounded in detailed golden frames. The walls were shiny and polished - covered in navy wallpaper ; on the left of me was a large window displaying an outside world I have never experienced and never will experience. I watched as the decrepit tracks, the train had already passed on moved further and further away into the horizon - a sign that I have long left my dear home.

My parents.

My stomach clenches and my heart stops as the stomach dropping thought about what will happen to my parents after my rebellious performance back in 12, enters my already overwhelmed brain. My hands begin to shake, my breathing becomes fast and heavy ; my eyes threaten to downpour like a ferocious rain cloud in the sky. My mind begins to race with uncomfortable thoughts and worries, Will the Capitol punish my parents for my actions ?, will I receive the punishments in the arena ? But then it dawns on me, I should be dead lying in a wooden box not being transported by train to the Capitol ; for the actions I committed, especially against a head peacekeeper, are certainly punishable by death. So then why keep me alive ?

My thoughts are cut short, when a knocking begins at the door, "Wake up Lilly, today is a big, big, big day !" calls Effie in her weirdly optimistic voice ; my non-existent eyebrows furrow in confusion as I replay the events from the past hours, maybe even days ? How long was I actually out for ? My head flips to face the wide window once again ; the light sky is tinged with a mixture of soft oranges and pinks. Instead of, what I thought was sunset, could actually be sunrise. Puzzled, I drag my gaze away from the glistening view and attempt to get up from the bed ; although my once clear eyesight begins to turn to fuzz and my ears begin to painfully ring, I mostly maintain my consciousness.

The corner of my eye catches a glimpse of my reflection in the long mirror as I stumble my way towards the door. I gasp in shock when I turn to face the full thing. It's warped, it must be - half my face is covered in a blotchy purple-green bruise ; my once crystal blue eye turned swollen and red with the hit. I stand their in utter disbelief, left speechless at the horrific sight - forget the quarter quell it already looks like I been through two. However the worst hasn't even been noticed yet ; my heart aches in guilt as I look to my shoulder to see my blouse drenched in dry blood - the only thing my mother has left of Prim ruined by my stupid actions. Somehow I always find a way to let her down.

I release a sad sigh, open the door and make my way down the narrow hallway of the train ; bottling the pain deep inside. Within seconds, I reach the dining room - where Haymitch and Nathan sit at a table piled high with rich food ; Effie, as per usual, sits at the back of the room in a cushioned chair admiring herself in a tiny compact mirror. The two men turn to me with their mouths gapping wide in shock of the state of my face, feeling self conscious I avoid their gazes as I sit down at the table. Immediately an avox pops up by my side, placing a clean, ceramic plate and metal utensils in front of me, which were already warm to the touch.

"Happy you're finally awake, songbird" Haymitch says in his usual sarcastic manner, "We were discussing strategies for the arena" he finishes while pouring liquor into his black coffee. Since my parents were victors, it means that they turned into mentors for 12 however I guess the Capitol thought it was unfair, leaving me and Nathan sharing Haymitch as a mentor. Even though Haymitch's aged terribly throughout the years - his black hair turned grey, the bags under his eyes got deeper, he's gotten more slower with time - he never lost his distasteful personality.

I turn to Nathan but he's too focussed on his plate of food, that makes my stomach once again turn, to look at me so I turn back to Haymitch. "Which was ?" I question, "Stay alive" he responds casually, taking a sip of his coffee then pouring more liquor in. I turn my nose up, then turn my focus back to my empty plate, somehow not noticing till then the cups of zesty orange juice and steaming hot chocolate in front of me. Instantly my face lights up and I eagerly look around for a piece of bread to dip it in, eventually I spot a croissant lying in the bread basket, which was in the middle of the table, amongst other mouth watering pastry's. I rip apart the croissant, causing it to rain flakes of pastry onto my plate and piece by piece dip it into the hot chocolate. It wasn't as good as my father's but it'll do for now. Suddenly Haymitch straightens from his slouched position, looking all around him ; I follow his movements and notice the vibrant, bright colours peeking through the windows, knocking on the glass, cheering, excitement - "We're here" Haymitch states, staring at both me and Nathan with his withered lips pressed in a hard line.

Nathan looks at me with those smokey eyes, which remind me too much of home, I look back and we hold each others watchful gaze ; it's time.