Tuesday 13/2/17
I saw you crying at your locker today. I couldn't understand why. What could you possibly have to be sad about. You have everything. Your Alissa De'Heart. Your friends crowded around you trying to comfort you. I wondered if you had caught Sam cheating again, last time you caught him you seemed to be pretty sad about it. I don't understand why you waste your time on him, you could have anyone yet you choose Sam. I don't understand what you see in him.
-my locker is opposite yours
25/2/17
I caught him staring at you again. Why? What do you have that I don't, it was quite comical honestly. I was staring at him, staring at you, staring at Sam. Whilst Mr fisher was talking you were ogling Sam. Your blonde hair shines every time the sun hits, maybe that's what he likes about you. Maybe it's your bright green eyes or your hourglass figure. But he isn't like that, he isn't like the other guys. My mom had always taught me that guys only want one thing, maybe she was right. Maybe if I were a little bit like you he might like me, but to fix myself I need to understand you.
-i sit behind you in Chem
27/2/17
You showed up wearing the shortest miniskirt and the tightest crop top. I think your plan worked. Everybody noticed you. Especially him. In class I watched his eyes slowly drift off onto you at every interval, but it makes sense. I was behind him, why would he ever look at those who were beneath him. I'm definitely not like you, everybody knows you. Your Alissa. Who am I to compare to you? Lately I've begun to forget who I am. I find myself copying your laughs, your smiles, the way you talk, the way you move. I practiced your signature hair flip for hours in the mirror today but my hair fell too short to flow in the silky motions that yours does.
-your copycat
15/3/17
My mom shouted at me today. I was so surprised that she noticed me, she's normally too busy with dad to ever notice me.
Lately I've been ditching my usual sweatpants and shirts and I've made an effort to look better for him. It seems to be working because today he looked at me. It was only for a second but my brown eyes met his green ones and I swear I could have stopped breathing. I think it's working. I'm picking out my outfit for tomorrow, I'll shave my legs and wear a skirt to impress him even more. Jennie doesn't like this, she says I'm doing too much for him. Nothing I could offer him will ever be enough, can't she understand that he's my everything?
-his secret admirer
28/3/17
You smiled at me. You liked my skirt. Maddy Manors liked my skirt. Your teeth are perfectly straight and lined up in nice white rows. I didn't know how to reply but I settled on a smile back and that smile still hasn't been wiped off my face. I've been replaying our interaction for hours in my head now. If I become friends with you will he notice me? Your back together with Sam now and I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I found out. You deserve so much better. Since your hanging out with Sam again I expect I'll see him around you more now. I wonder if you notice the way he looks at you.
-the girl who's skirt you liked
1/4/17
I want to be your friend so badly. I was watching from my seat in the cafeteria whilst Jennie was talking about something unimportant. She's so boring, I bet you and I would make better friends. I can just tell. You were chased around the courtyard by all of the boys. What does it take to be you. I wish I could have male attention, the last time I spoke to a boy was the worker at Dairy Queen whilst I stuffed my face with their fat and carbs. I'm getting deja vu whilst I write this as history is just repeating itself. It's a Friday night and your probably out partying with all of your friends whilst I'm surrounded by Cheeto dust and crumbs. I've decided starting tomorrow that I'm going on a diet.
