All the small people

Chapter 5

I was not happy.

I'd been guilt-tripped into going to Holly's first scan with Charlie for moral support. The bus ride to the next town over made me feel sick, there were too many people and the thought of seeing Holly made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.

"This is our stop," Charlie said after a while of silence.

We got off and had to walk a few minutes before we got to the clinic. I pulled out a cigarette and savoured the feeling of it corrupting my lungs. Charlie waved a hand in front of himself and glared at me.

"Can you move to the other side of me? Holly says the smell of the smoke makes her feel sick."

I rolled my eyes but obliged. "What have her family said about the pregnancy anyway?" I didn't know much, but I was pretty sure she was an only child with a mum, not sure about her dad, though.

Charlie pulled his coat in closer around him. It took him a moment to answer. "She hasn't told them yet."

I blinked. "Riiight." Well she was on a ticking clock, sooner or later the signs would be there to reveal themselves.

"She's just... waiting for the right moment," he added hastily.

I shrugged.

The clinic was wedged into a scummy retail park. Classy, I know. Holly was already there waiting for us. She was a dyed blonde with a septum piercing and an eyebrow slit. Her mouth was always curled into a nasty sneer unless she was smirking or making out with the closest thing with a pulse. Again, I had no idea why my brother ever bothered with her in the first place.

"Holly!" Charlie called out as we walked over.

She looked up from her phone, shielding her eyes. She hopped down from the half wall she was sitting on and pocketed her phone.

She spoke when we got closer, glaring up at Charlie while he hugged her, not returning it. "Why'd you have to bring him?"

Charlie gave an awkward laugh as I returned her sentiment with a sarcastic smile. "Nice to see you, too."

"I wanted him to be here, is that okay?"

Holly scrutinised me and I caught her take hold of her stomach like she was protecting a stash of sweets. "Fine," she said after a while. "But, he's not coming in for the scan."

Charlie breathed out and flashed her a smile. He was jittery, that much was obvious. "Of course, whatever makes you comfortable. Should we go in?"

I trailed behind them as they walked ahead into the building.

"I want to get this over with already, you said you'd buy me lunch," she muttered just loud enough for me to hear.

I managed to contain myself to a shake of the head and spotted a waiting area with chairs as we got inside and I tapped Charlie on the shoulder, jerking my head in the direction of the waiting room. I sent him a telepathic message. Good fucking luck, mate.

I took a seat in a questionable looking chair and stretched my spine a little, taking long breaths. I would probably be here for a while...

With nothing better to do, I fished out the notebook I had brought from my bag and a pen. I'd been writing things down. The school counsellor suggested it, encouraged it really. Said that it would contribute to a 'normal high school experience'. Whatever the fuck that meant.

I flipped it open and soon found my hand scribbling down thoughts from the days past, of Charlie's life changing discovery and my dad giving me a lovely new scar to bear to the world.

My hand was cramping but I didn't care and I kind of ached for a smoke but I just wrote and wrote and wrote of anything and everything. The words were all connecting and scrawling like lines drawn in sand endless loops and dips and dots.

Then I felt the hair raising feeling of being watched, being observed. Through the fuzziness of my peripherals, I spied an old woman looking over my shoulder at my notebook, not being subtle one bit. I slammed it shut.

"Ever hear of privacy?" My words came out as a snarl.

She just tipped her head with a smile, leaning back. "Sorry, kid. Thought you'd burn a hole in the page with how fast you was going there." Her hands were gnarled and she folded them in her lap. I glared down at my notebook, my knuckles white from clenching it between my fingers. "Fetching to be an author?"

Ha. Yeah right. "No."

The old woman hummed to herself. "You seem to have a lot to say," she pointed out.

"It's just my thoughts," I said, not even sure why I was entertaining her. "The school counsellor gave it to me."

She nodded wisely. "It's funny how a small thing can have such a large effect on our lives."

I just shrugged. "It's not that serious. Life isn't that serious."

She looked me in the eye and gave a half smile like she knew something I didn't, pulling herself up off of her chair. She pulled out a weathered black purse and handed me a slip of card. "For when you decide to take life seriously."

Then she meandered off down the corridor and disappeared around a corner.

I glanced down at the card.

Miriam Reynolds

Oswald Publishing

I shook my head. "Weirdo." As I was peering around down the corridor she'd walked down, Charlie and Holly came out of a room on the left and I stood, ready to leave. I shoved the business card into my pocket, noting to throw it away later.

"How was it?" I asked mainly out of courtesy.

"Fine," Holly grumbled and walked past me.

I glanced at Charlie who had a weird, funny smile on his face. "I heard her heartbeat," he whispered, eyes filling with wonder.

I smiled, feeling a touch of the happiness he was probably experiencing. "That's cool, dude."

"Her?" Holly asked pointedly over her shoulder as we waited at the desk for them to set up another scan appointment. "We don't even know what is it yet."

Charlie only smiled at her bite. "I just have a feeling."

I caught Holly's eyeroll as she turned to talk with the receptionist and turned to my brother, holding my wry tone back by the skin of my teeth. "When's the due date?"

"June 15th, since Holly is already 6 weeks along." He put his arm around her shoulders and she let him. "Finn, honestly, she's perfect." He handed me a printed photo of the scan. Most of it was just darkness and the white of the radar but there was that little bump in the middle part. The baby.

Shit. Well, there it was, I guess. This was real. I gave Charlie my most convincing smile. "I'm happy for you, bro." I gave Holly a small nod. "Both of you."

She snorted and snatched up her appointment slip from the receptionist. "Whatever. I'm hungry, let's just go."

I held back a little behind the two of them as we walked to the McDonalds in the adjacent retail park. Charlie was talking animatedly to her about all things baby: clothes, names, what it would look like. Holly was staring down at her phone, giving him hums of acknowledgement every now and then.

Archie Manning's voice rang out in my head like a hissing snake.

'I was pounding that pussy just last week, so you can't be sure it's yours, right?'

Maybe he was just trying hard to rile us up, at least I hoped that was all it was, just stupid useless words from a bigot who got joy from seeing others suffer. A small part of me nagged away at my brain, though. Maybe it wasn't just words. I gave a scrutinising glare to Holly's back and sighed.

What the fuck had my brother gotten himself mixed up in?