All the small people

Chapter 6

Larney, Rani and me were sitting on the fire escape by early evening, sharing a frozen pizza and a bottle of beer that Rani had managed to swipe from their mum's stash.

"I don't even really like beer," they said dryly, uncapping the glass bottle on the edge of the railing before plopping down onto a pillow I'd laid out for them. Larney was settled up against the wall, balancing her water bottle on one knee.

I tore the pepperoni and chicken pizza into thirds and put the pieces on paper plates, already biting into mine.

I was in agreement, drinking wasn't something I ever hoped to get into but I needed something to take the edge off of time spent with Holly, unsufferable as she was. "Agreed."

They took a sip and cringed a little. They were wearing some dark, ripped jeans and a baggy graphic tee. The sun caught their hair and made it glow red around the edges. They handed me the bottle.

It tasted sour. "Fuck, that's gross." I drank a little more.

Rani laughed a little through their nose, chewing off the crusts and crunching them between their molars. "Who the hell enjoys that shit anyway?"

We shared damning grins, ignoring Larney's disapproving glare.

"I'll probably turn into an alcoholic since the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree," I said offhandedly. "I already do stupid shit when I'm sober..." They gave me a look and I snorted. "Half sober, anyway."

"You really shouldn't say stuff like that," my twin said, eating her pizza.

I shrugged her off even though I knew it bothered her when I spoke about him. I offered her the beer bottle but she shook her head so I took another tiny sip and I swallowed. I breathed out quickly through my throat to expel the taste. It helped a little. Then I handed it back to Rani.

They were experimenting with makeup again, eyes lined with dark green underneath and they'd smeared smoky eyeshadow on top. I was genuinely so proud of them, they did whatever they wanted no matter what people said or did.

They caught me staring and preened. "You can just say that I'm pretty."

"Like you need any more air going to that big head of yours."

"They are pretty," Larney confirmed approvingly, shining at them.

Rani looked smug and gave me a firm nod like see?

I heard a crash somewhere inside and flinched.

"Wylie?" I called into my dark bedroom toward the open door. No reply. A huge sigh left my lungs as I heaved myself up and slipped through the window to see what had happened.

My Dad was lying face down on the floor, muttering to himself. The lamp which was previously on the table next to his armchair was lying in pieces around him. Great.

"Dad!" Larney shrieked, running past me to crouch down beside him, touching his shoulder. She looked up at me like she wanted me to fix it.

I tried not to scowl. "He's just drunk," I said and came over, crouching beside him. He was docile as a kitten like this but getting him off the floor required a fucking crane or something. "Dad, come on, get up."

"Fuck off," he mumbled into the floor, words slurred.

Looking at him lying there on the floor, I was flooded with a feeling so similar to hate, maybe it was. You weren't supposed to hate your family but when they were this bad, exceptions became a thing. I grabbed his wrist and pulled to try and get him sideways at least so he didn't choke if he vomited. Larney sniffed from beside him and pushed back his hair from his eyes.

"You should just leave him," Rani muttered from behind me. Their eyes were on the cigarette they were rolling. "Let him choke."

"Yeah, then he dies," I huffed straining to pull him over. "And we all get separated into shitty foster homes."

Rani hummed, licking the paper.

"Guys," Larney whispered, shaking her head. "Why do you two always have to be so morbid?"

"Sorry, Larns," Rani said placatingly, putting their rolled cigarette behind their ear. They swiped her on the nose gently. "He'll be fine."

Unfortunately.

I put my Dad into the recovery position in the dark lounge and started picking up the larger parts of the broken lamp. A sharp edge caught my finger and I hissed, blood spotting on the tip of it.

Despite the sting, my mind purred at the pain knowing I deserved it and I watched the blood dribble down my finger.

Rani stepped in and shoved my finger into my mouth and dragged me to the kitchen, sitting me down while they pulled the first aid kit down from the top of the fridge.

They didn't speak, just took my finger and wiped it with an antiseptic wipe before putting a plaster on it.

My gaze flitted to the dark lounge. Most of the time, I wished he would just die. And that was a horrible thing to think and want but he was the reason why things were so shit. I had a hard time imagining he'd be nice even if Mum was alive. That classic father teaching their kid to play catch in American home movies was lost on me.

I pulled the shortest fucking straw in the pot.

"He's okay, Wylie," Larney said.

I looked up to see my little brother hesitating in the doorway, his usually serious eyes wide with concern. It took a lot to muster up a half-decent smile.

"I'm okay, buddy. Don't worry about me." I stood and my legs felt like they'd crumble at any moment. "Come on, you need to shower before bed."

I turned the tap on the shower and cursed. It was freezing cold. "God damnit."

"Might be the pilot light, I'll check it," Rani said and disappeared from the doorway. It was, luckily, and I got Wylie showered and ready for bed, his stomach full on box mac and cheese and Ribena. I sat by his bed as he fell asleep, making sure he was covered up and safe as he floated peacefully away from this life he'd been sacrificed to.

I felt hands pulling me up and pushing me to my own room and down into the bed. Rani fluffed up the blanket around me and stroked the hair on the back of my head; one, two, three times and then left through my window.

Then my eyes closed.