By the time they get back to the house in Utah Austin is spent. There are many reasons - flying, dodging cameras, warding off fans, trying to support Cleo, trying to take a step back so she can think or sit with her newfound information. Lots of things. But, none of them are the main reason for his fatigue. No. Those things are small in comparison to the main reason. The main reason is quite simply that Cleo won't stop kissing him. Fair enough, lots of couples kiss and he is married to the woman and very much in love with her. But, she kisses him a lot. A lot. Little pecks on the cheeks and lips or if they are alone she will grab his beard and practically glue their lips together. She doesn't say anything and at times he doesn't see it coming. She just stares at him then pounces, catching him off guard like a dam mountain lion.
He doesn't stop her, that would be ludicrous, and he likes it every single time. But, the man is spent. S P E N T. Because quite simply put - one touch from Cleo drives all his senses wild so between LA and Utah he has to mentally castrate himself and beg his body to calm the fuck down. He might just take up yoga soon, but then imagines Cleo bent over and so he is fucked all over again. He had managed to slip into his office for a second and phoned Sharon in the hopes she would offer some sound advice but she suggests he let it play out and fuck her memories back into existence - she was no help.
He does not know what he is going to do. He does not want her to stop, but he does not know how he is going to survive this.
Thinking maybe Decon has a profound professional stance on the matter he phones him and explains what is happening.
"I think I am going to change my diagnosis on her condition given the evidence you have just presented," Decon says, he sounds serious and it leaves Austin a little worried.
"You are? To what?"
"Well after all my tests I concluded that she just had memory loss, but now I think she has some brain damage... serious brain damage."
"What?! Why?!"
"Well, it's the only explanation I have as to why she would willingly kiss you."
"Fuck off, Decon. You had me worried for a second. Asshole."
Decon laughs and Austin waits for him to grow the fuck up. "Relax, man. Think about it. She has no memories of you, only feelings to go on so she is kissing you to keep that feeling bouncing around in her. She is reaching out for that memory. Also. We have all heard the stories, we all know how insane you two were over each other. Shaz says you guys could not keep your hands off each other. Given who she is and how she felt about you I think this is normal."
"Decon...what if her memories never come back?" Austin asks, his emotions catching him off guard and he chokes out. He will never leave and will always try and help her remember, he will also make new memories with her and they will be happy. But, it hurts knowing there are moments in the past that are so precious they can never be relived - once-in-a-lifetime kind of stuff. "She remembered nothing during our trip to LA," he says and then sniffs back his tears. Decon sighs softly on the other end of the phone. "Austin. Some questions I have no answers to. Maybe in time, your trip to LA will spark a memory, maybe it will not. Maybe her memory never comes back and all she will ever have from that year with you are feelings. But, I do know one thing I am sure of. I will stake my career on..."
"What's that?"
"You have her. You got her back. Sometimes we just have to make the most of the here and now."
Austin takes a moment for himself after that phone call. Decon is right. He has Cleo back and honestly, there is nothing he could be more grateful than that. He cleans himself up and makes sure there are no signs of his mini meltdown. He has no idea what the next step is but perhaps focusing on what they have now and their future is a good place to start. He heads to the kitchen and finds Cleo on the back porch with her lamas. She turns to face him when she hears him come then flashes him a bright smile, walks up to him, grabs his beard between her fingers, and holds him steady when she plants a fat kiss on his lips.
