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17:49 am | June 15th |LA, Luxury Landing Apartments |
I pressed pause on the remote , pausing the episode of modern family that was playing on my flat screen .
I feel like I can't even get into anything recently, I been procrastinating all week - I have about 4 missed assignments for work but I can't even bring myself to do them.
Ever since I went to see my sister all she's been talking about was going to see Nia's parents , I know that I should be the bigger person but I don't think I can pretend like what happened at the funeral didn't happen.
They all blamed for Nia's death , knowing what I was already going through at the time . It was so insensitive. A time where we were all meant to be coming together and supporting one another, they shunned me and pushed me out .
Can i really forget about everything they said , the way they looked at me? No.
I let out a deep sigh , throwing myself back against the couch , and closed my eyes .
"Alexa!" I shouted from my position "Play mirrors by Jhene Aiko" one of me and Nia's favourite songs .
The melody began to play , the sound flowing from the Alexa in the hall and into the living room .
I hummed along to the lyrics ,
If I'm your reflection Then, baby, you must be an angel 'Cause when the light hits you just right One could mistake you for a star That is exactly what you are
Better to consider all of the good things
A glimpse in the mirror, yeah To make sure you are still there Yeah
Every time I play songs that we loved , or the food we used to always get ; when I look through my closet and see all the matching outfits we've worn .
It's like a constant reminder that a half of me is gone . A constant reminder that I'm alone .
I got up and made my way to the kitchen , the song still playing just as loud.
Grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator, I took a large gulp before placing the lid back on and walking in the direction of my room.
It was already way past afternoon and I hadn't done anything but rot in the PJ's id been wearing from yesterday night .
So I grabbed my towel , and my shower essentials before walking into my bathroom .
Once the water was turned on , clouds created from the heat began to fog up the mirrors and make the room hot and stuffy . Just the way I liked it.
I undressed and stepped underneath the water , letting it wash away all the things I was feeling .
I was due to get my hair done soon so I let my natural curls get wet , combing my fingers through the thick black locks .
After that , I scrubbed my body with my unscented dove soap followed by my vanilla and manuka honey body wash before getting out and drying my body.
I brushed my teeth and did my skin care routine , just so that i could feel more refreshed.
I didn't have anywhere to go so I just looked for something comfy to put on , as I moved my hands through my draws , my eyes landed on a pair of black Calvin Klein boxers that lay folded up next to a large oversized tee that belonged to Mizani.
Along with everything else I had to acknowledge the fact that someon who I was growing close to , sharing my mind , my body and trust with had a whole girlfriend with a baby on the way .
I felt so dumb . It was like one thing right after another.
I slammed the draw shut and reached into another to grab the clothes I was gonna wear.
I slipped on some loose fitting pink shorts with an all white (fitted) tank top .
Just as I brought out the stuff to begin drying my hair , I heard the sound of the door bell ring throughout my apartment .
I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion while I paused and looked at myself in the mirror before looking down the hall at the door.
I don't know who that could be , if it were my mom or Brynn they would've called I'm advance .
I walked towards the front door , my wet curls dripping behind me as I cringed from my sock stepping in one of the small droplets .
The door bell ringing again , causing me to roll my eyes "I'm coming .. damn" I mumbled out while unlocking the door and taking the chain off.
As I cracked the door open carefully, my heart dropped slightly at the all too familiar brown eyes that stared back down at me.
