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15:12 pm | May 11th | La , Arlo & Dale Corp | ________
"So I told him , I accept the promotion but I'm not gonna work on any projects with Ed he's so laz- .." Carmen paused , looking at me with her eyebrow raised "Girl are you even listening ? " she asked while taking a sip of her strawberry milkshake.
We had ordered burgers and fries from one of the restaurants near the office for lunch in celebration of her new promotion . Don't get me wrong , the food was delicious and I was truly happy for Carmen but my mind just wouldn't stop thinking back to what happened earlier with Mizani.
I felt like I'm going crazy, I don't know what was going on with me , I let a man who's name I didn't even know until three hours ago - touch me and kiss me.
And worse , I was enjoying it , i had to force myself to tell him to stop.
I let out a small sigh "Sorry , there's just a lot on my mind right now " I replied , giving a dry response .
She leaned over and placed a hand on top of mine "You know you can speak about anything with me right?" she asked , a look of worry etched onto her face.
Carmen might not be my best friend but she genuinely was a sweet girl , ever since I first started this job she's been there for me whenever I needed her.
She always helped me out with things I was confused about and she would always be there if i needed to vent to someone .
So usually I would confide in her and tell her everything that had happened , but not today . This was something I would have to keep to myself , so i gave her a small smile and a nod as an answer to her question.
She gave my hand one more comforting squeeze before letting go and continuing to ramble on about Ed from the office above ours . I once again zoned out - I feel bad for not paying attention but I honestly couldn't help it.
The whole situation was replaying in my head , like a video stuck on loop , all i could think about was how his soft lips felt pressed against my neck and his big hands wrapped around me as we kissed . It was like my head was tormenting me , punishing me for how i reacted afterwards .
I probably looked like such a weirdo but when he asked for my number , I froze . He was so intimidating and he had such a dominant vibe , like he knew how attractive he was.
His aura was powerful , It demanded attention and I couldn't help but to submit and become all meek both times he's come around.
It's honestly pathetic , I've been going on and on about how fine he is and all the things that he could do to me . But it was like once I got a taste I immediately became overwhelmed , not knowing how to react to the way he made my body feel.
I felt so humiliated , especially because i'm gonna be seeing him around from time to time . But by the way he just walked out of my office without saying anything made me think he wouldn't be making any moves to talk to me anytime soon.
I was a grown woman who couldn't handle the feelings she got from something as simple as a kiss from a good looking man. I was trying not to overthink the whole situation but I just couldn't help it .
A few minutes after me and Carmen finished eating we both dispersed into our offices to finish off the work we had , I hadn't be able to type even one word ever since I sat down .
My head was all over the place right now , the percentages on and figures that were sprawled across my screen just looked like a jumble of numbers . Inconceivable and confusing.
I frowned and rubbed my forehead as i tried to make out what I could see in front of me , I sighed in frustration before shutting my laptop closed. I got up from behind my desk and sat down on the love seat on the opposite side of the room.
I took my shoes of allowing my whole body to be laid out over the couch , I felt stupid and no matter how much i tried to ignore the whole ordeal my brain just wouldn't let me forget.
I felt like I was back in high school all over again , the silly crushes and making a big deal out of literally any and every minor inconvenience . It was stupid honestly , I'm sure Mizani isn't even thinking about it as hard as I am.
It wasn't even that serious , to him he probably only saw me as a warm body , nothing with any depth.
Besides, I barely even know the man , he'll most likely just not approach me when he sees me , Iv'e only seen him twice , I'm sure it wont cause much disturbance in my life if her ignored me.
I grabbed my phone and went to spotify , one thing I could always count on to clear my head is music. My dad used to say "Music is good for the soul " , I never really understood what he meant until I got older and would often find comfort in my favourite songs.
Something about having a song for every mood , the melody , the lyrics hitting you so hard you can't help but to belt out the words out loud . The feeling of turning on the right song , just to calm your nerves was truly euphoric .
I scrolled through my playlist until I came across a song I liked -
One Way St. (feat. Ab-Soul) | Jhené Aiko
0:00 ──────〇──── 2:55 ⇄ |◃ⅠⅠ▹| ↻
Going the wrong way on a one -way street Going the wrong way on a one-way street
I wait for love , I waste away Wasting my days i waste away
To be honest Jhené always did it for me , I hummed as the lyrics flowed through my airpod's .
The soft beat bumping through the small speakers , something about her music was so therapeutic.
Me and Zenia used to listen to her songs all the time back in high school . At one point she was all we listened to , really our go-to artist.
I remember when we found out that she was gonna be In LA doing a show and we begged our parents to let us buy tickets.
They eventually gave in and said yes , after we went the next weekend, my throat was so sore and my voice was basically gone.
I had never screamed so loud in my life , that's one of my favourite memories that I share with Nia .
Both of us belting out the lyrics to our favourite songs , drunk from the bacardi we drank on the way to the concert . Just pure vibes.
I leaned my head back as the song began to come to an end , the voice of Bryson Tiller began to blast next .
I allowed the song to play , singing along to the lyrics .
I just hope tomorrow will be better , maybe it won't be as awkward as i think next time i see him.
