The Lost Memories

3. suppressing feelings

Emily's PoV

"Those kids are actually insane!" I hear Summer's voice coming from the doorway of the office "I literally don't know how you and Michelle deal with them."

Summer has been teaching the baby ballet students for the past couple of days and it's sort of funny watching her try to deal with them. They're a bunch of excitable young kids who love to misbehave.

"The baby ballet kids?" I ask her.

"Uhm, yeah!" She says, looking stressed.

"Summer, they're children!" I roll my eyes, playfully "I didn't send you into the lion's den."

"Well, it feels like you did." She says.

I watch as she throws herself down onto the couch in front of me. She could go home as soon as their classes have finished but instead she always spends her evenings with me. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve a friend like her.

There's a small silence until Summer breaks it "So... how are you today? You didn't come out to watch A-troupes rehearsal."

"I know, I know. I'm just stressed. I've got so many things to organise and too many emails to write. Plus, Michelle keeps sending me texts and it's driving me crazy."

Summer's PoV

I figure that this is my opportunity to ask how things are going with their relationship.

"Speaking of Michelle... how is she?" I ask, trying not to seem too interested "Are things okay between the both of you?"

"Uh- uhm, yeah. She's just visiting her mom, she'll be back soon." She tells me.

"And the both of you are okay?"

She nods "Y- yeah. We still argue all the time but we're okay."

I decide to ask more questions because I'm honestly really curious.

"And what about the baby?" I ask her "Are you coping with that? I know you were a little hesitant at first which is totally understandable"

She pauses for a few seconds whilst staring off at something behind me. I can tell that she's thinking hard about my question. Emily didn't take Michelle being pregnant very well when she first found out. She did a lot of crying and she felt like it was the end of their relationship.

She finally speaks "I mean, I can't really change it. Of course it wasn't what I wanted at first but I've kind of come around to the idea. I couldn't exactly tell her not to have the baby."

"She didn't even entertain any other options?"

Emily shakes her head "She didn't want to get an abortion and she told me that adoption would be too painful. She couldn't live knowing that her kid could be anywhere and she'd never know what happened to them."

Emily lowers her head, a sad look on her face. I can tell that this is really hard on her and that she's just trying to hold herself together.

"I'm sorry, I know how hard this has been for you." I try to make her feel like I'm there for her "You know that you can always talk to me about it. I'll always be there for you."

A small smile appears on her face, her cheeks turning a darker pink colour. She gets quite embarrassed when I say things like that to her yet I don't understand why. I can tell that she has a softer side but she doesn't usually let others see it.

"I know." She says, quietly.

"Good." I smile.

There's another silence in the room so I start to come up with an idea in my head. I can tell that Emily is struggling with being on her own while Michelle isn't around so I have the perfect thing that will cheer her up. I know that she'll probably turn down my offer but it's worth a shot.

"Em..." I grab her attention "How about I come over to your place tonight?"

Her eyes widen slightly and I can tell that she's shocked by that "W- what?"

"I know you're probably busy but I was thinking I could come and keep you company." I tell her "I could pour you a glass of wine, make you some food and you could kick your feet up on the couch and get some work done."

She furrows her brows "But couldn't I just do all of that on my own?"

"I mean, you could! But if you let me come over then you'll have the best company that you could ever ask for." I wink.

She tries to talk her way out of it "Summer, I have a lot of work to do-."

"Oh, come on!" I get up off of the couch "It'll be fun! I'm actually really fun to be around believe it or not!"

"Summer-."

"Please!" I beg, pouting my lips to try and persuade her.

She stares at me for a few seconds, furrowing her brows. I assume that I'm probably wasting my time but I'd rather try than be a bad friend and not be there for her when she's going through a tough time.

And to my surprise, I hear her say "Okay, okay! Come over at seven, no later! And I have a lot of work to do so you better not distract me!"

"Trust me, I won't!" I try to contain my excitement "I'll just be in the kitchen making you some food, I promise!"

Emily's PoV

"Okay, whatever you say." I shake my head, thinking about what I've just gotten myself into.

I would never admit it to Summer but I actually like the thought of spending time with her. She's really kind to me and she doesn't judge me like the others do. Everyone just sees me as this mean, strict person but Summer sees so much more than that.

"Alright, I should go." She says "I'll leave you to whatever you're doing."

"Oh, I'm just looking at a competition. I'm trying to decide whether to take some kids there."

"Sounds so fun!" She says, sarcasm in her tone of voice.

"Thanks." I roll my eyes, playfully.

"Okay, now I'm actually gonna go before you try to convince me to help you look."

"Don't worry, I would never do that." I tell her "I only trust myself to make these kinds of decisions."

"Okay, okay. Have fun!" She giggles.

"Oh, I will!"

I watch as she leaves the office, her long, brunette hair swaying. A smile appears on my face and instantly try to contain my happiness. I need to stop this! There's no way that she'd ever feel the same way as I do. Plus, Michelle would never forgive me.

But Michelle is always away and I sometimes feel like she's living a double life. She tells me that she loves me but then she disappears.

I wish that I could figure her out.