Who I Was ✦ Kai Parker

8

"Complicated how?" The blonde asked.

"My parents compare Kai to me a lot and I— I guess that's what makes him reject me so much. And he has— all this anger and rage and jealousy inside of him and I— I want to help him but I don't know how. I don't think he wants my help either" She sighed loudly.

Josette tilted her head back, briefly admiring the stars before turning her head back to Rachel with what it seemed to be a worried expression. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all of that. But I haven't talked to anyone like this in months."

Even though Rachel tried to empathize with Josette, she realized she couldn't. Not when she understood Kai on the situation on a deeper level. She had known that feeling her whole life— the feeling of being compared. And she hated it profoundly. In her case, it was always Imogen. The good daughter. The perfect student. The popular girl.

She understood Kai's anger, rage and jealousy— because she felt it too towards Imogen. She knew that it didn't matter what they did, their siblings would always come first.

Maybe they had a lot more things in common than she thought.

"It's okay. I'm a good listener." Rachel gave her a smile.

"I know" Josette smiled back at her "Thanks for listening to me, it means a lot."

"Of course." Rachel nodded, swinging her feet awkwardly when the conversation fell silent "Why haven't you been to school since Wednesday?" She decided to ask.

Rachel hadn't been able to stop thinking about what her and Amy saw when they were spying on Kai. The way he grabbed her sister and hurt her. The way Josette pleaded and asked him to never do it again.

Do what again? That's what Rachel wondered.

The only thing she knew is that Josette disappeared for a few days after that.

"I was sick." Josette answered slightly in a lower tone "But I'm okay now. Oh and I've been meaning to ask you if it's worth it joining the cheerleaders team 'cause I've been thinking about it but I'm not sure." She added quickly, changing the topic.

Rachel caught on that she didn't want to talk about why she had missed school.

"Practice itself it's cool— sometimes. Really tiring as well. The people on the team though? Fucking annoying." Rachel snorted.

Josette laughed. "At least we'll be together if I join."

"Please do. I could use a friend."

She couldn't imagine going to practice without Mary Anne, being left alone with Leah and her group. During summer, she thought about leaving the team but her mother pushed her to continue solely for the reason of her sisters being cheerleaders during their high school years too.

"Is your brother joining any sports team?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think so, he hates sports based on cooperation. He says it's dumb relying on other people to win something."

"Deep." Rachel raised her eyebrows ironically which made Josette chuckle.

"He's kind of a loner. If he were to join a team, it'd probably be the baseball one since it's the only sport he enjoys watching on TV." The brunette shrugged "By the way, Rachel, I know this is unrelated but I... I haven't stopped thinking about it all week and I just— I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about your loss."