The Pond

Chapter 8: Foolish Me

Maddie :

It's been a week since I saw Tyler and even though I thought the whole let the crown float away thing freed me from my feelings I didn't develop any of the picture I took that day until today. Now that I see them again, I'm sad. The pictures came out amazing, but I wish they were pictures of us. I have no appointments in the studio and took the day off from going into the BNB so naturally I am heading to the pond. When I reach in my bag for my keys, I see the notes Tyler left me, maybe I should text him, maybe I should just be honest, tell him I like him, tell him I want to hangout and see where things go. How I've liked him since we used to be on the same basketball team. But I can't, I'm too afraid of rejection, I grab my keys, head to my car, go to throw my bag in the back when I see Tyler's hoodie, I drop my bag, put the key in the ignition and drive to the pond. I'm not sure what coming here will do for me, maybe help me clear my head again. I walk down the familiar dirt road to the trail I've taken hundreds of times. I reach the dock distracted in my thoughts when all of a sudden, I notice someone is sitting on the dock. Oh my god it's Tyler. So, he's been coming here still, I wonder why? To see me or to think? Only one way to find out is to take a step onto the dock.

"Hey, fancy meeting you here." I say with a joking tone in my voice. Tyler jumps up, faces me surprised by my presence it seems. "Hey what's up?" Tyler asks casually

"Not much, just chillin 'on my night off. What about you?" I respond and instantly wish I didn't say that, just chillin what's wrong with me I don't say things like that.

"I heard this is a great spot to come and clear your head." Tyler answers

"Clear your head eh? What's stuck up there?" I ask as I move towards him.

"Memories of this place." He answers honestly. I blush slightly. "Yeah, I love coming here, each time is always so different." I say trying to make it seem like I have so many memories.

"Have you been coming here a lot lately?" Tyler asks.

"I've been once. I was trying to stay away from the last memory I made. That one stings a little." I answer honestly, then decide to take it one step further. "Actually, when I came on Wednesday, I took the most beautiful pictures of these wild flowers." Tyler smiles knowing exactly what I'm referring to.

"And tonight? Why are you here?" he asks me. Not ready to tell him the real reason I quickly said "For a free swim in the pond of course." Then proceed to remove my clothes and jump into the pond. When I surface, I turn to look at the dock. Tyler is staring at me. "The water's great, come on in." I yell to him, then start swimming towards the other side of the pond. When I reach the shallow water, I turn around to see Tyler jump in, I swim back towards him. We meet and tread water.

"I couldn't resist swimming with you again." Tyler says, I splash him then swim away. He swims with me until we are in the shallow again, enough we are still under water but can stand. Tyler comes close to me.

"Why haven't you called me?" he bluntly asks.

"The way I left wasn't exactly great plus what would I say, you made your feeling clear and I'm not sure how I feel about all of this." Honesty is the best policy tonight, I guess.

"True, but..." "But what Ty? We've played this game for four years." I cut him off. If he wants me now, I'm going to make him come right out and tell me.

"But we're friends, right? Friends can still hang out, swim, hike, go for drinks?" is how he responds. Now I know for sure where I stand. Friends... we've always been friends.

"Yep, but typically friends don't hold hands, flirt, kiss even if it's not on the lips." I say right before I swim off back to the dock. I climb out, pull off my wet undergarments and quickly pull on my shorts and top. Slide on my shoes and wring out my hair. I hear Tyler get out but I don't turn around. I turn my head but don't actually look at him when I say "I'll see you around Tyler." I take a step off the dock and head down the trail. When I get to the end of the trail, I see my crown hanging in the tree, wilted now, looking as sad as I feel. Why do I keep doing this to myself? I start jogging back to my car so Tyler can't catch up to me. By the time I get to my car I'm out of breath and cold, I grab the hoodie from the back seat, throw it on and climb in. I sit in the driver's seat, with the key in the ignition but I can't leave. I just stare out the window at nothing, trying to wrap my head around the fact that Tyler will always be just a friend. Thinking maybe all these years I made it all up in my head.

Tyler:

Not again. I clearly said the wrong thing as I'm watching the love of my life swim away from me. I need to fix this, I swim after Maddie. Praying she'll wait for me on the dock and let me start this conversation over but she doesn't. She barely looks at me as she says I'll see you around. I can't even respond before she's gone. I take off my boxers, ring them out a few times and get dressed. That's it. I can't let her go. I have to find her tonight and clear this up. Every time she walks away it kills me more and more. I take off running when I enter the parking lot. I see her sitting in her car in my hoodie. She looks lost.

Knock, knock, knock.

I tap on Maddie's window only to watch her jump, then look at me like a deer and headlights. She just stares at me through the window, not moving. So I open the door and ask

"will you please get out of the car"

Still silent, She slowly comes out of her car like she doesn't understand what's happening. As soon as she's out of the way I shut the door, eliminating the temptation to jump back in and drive away forever. I lean against her car staring at the ground pretending to dig with my foot. Then I finally say

"Mads. Will you just talk to me? stop running away and talk to me. Tell me what I did wrong?"

She moves a little further away making me look up and I wish I didn't. She looks like she's going to explode or start running away.

"Are you fucking serious? Talk to you Tyler. That's all I've been trying to do. I have nothing left to say." She tries to push past me to get into her car but I don't move.

"Tell me how to fix this. Maddie, I'm not letting you leave until I know what I did to make You hate me."

"Hate you. You are never going to see what's right in front of you. Fix this. You want to fix this?" Maddie is almost screaming at me. While she paces back and forth in front of me. I grab her hand to stop her.

"Maddie please. I'm trying to understand 1 minute we're having fun the next. You're leaving, at the bar last week and now tonight. Help me understand what I'm doing wrong." I'm practically pleading with her. She finally looks at me and I hold her stare taking a step closer until I am so close I could kiss her. Maddie takes a deep breath then pulls her hand away. Blurting out.

"Why did you bite me at basketball all those years ago?"

Bite her. What is she talking about? I look at Maddie confused then almost as if it just happened. She reaches for her bicep and I vaguely remember. Then she speaks again.

"Never mind. You likely don't even remember." Maddie is shaking her head stepping away from me. Not again, don't leave again.

"Maddie, Maddie we were so young and I was cocky. I thought I was some kind of super star then here you come learning growing up keeping up with me and you are a girl. I was mad and I don't know why I just bit you." I remember that day and how much of an ass I was to her

"But then you sat next me and grade 9 math." I said thinking back

"yeah and then every other class we had together too for the next 4 years. Always next to each other. Always so nice. So funny but why?" Maddie asked

"Easy because we were friends." I answer and then regret it as Maddie's face drops. Not what she wanted to hear. Not the truth either. I open my mouth but she beats me to it.

"Do you always flirt with your friends?"

"Fuck no only the ones I'm interested in." I tell her and there is no going back now.