𝙈𝙀𝙍𝙄 𝘿𝙐𝙇𝙃𝘼𝙉

𝑴𝑨𝑹𝑹𝑰𝑮𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑰𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬

a smile formed on my face when i saw the beautiful child she was carrying adil, my little brother i suppose came to support me on my worst day, ....my marriage 

i haven't met him in person at all...it was just video calls that kept me in touch, thankfully...he remembered me 

"ab jaao bhi apni jagah par betho!" (now c'mon, go sit on you seat) my aunt said leading me to a giant red coushion covered in gold plated design's ,i hesitated at first.....but in the end i had no choice....i have already this far off, left me nothing but to keep going 

i took a deep breath in and went to sit arranging my dress....with so my mother went ahead to lower my veil, well a good thing in fact cause my tears were about to fall off....and i didn't wanted anybody to see it, it was obvious i was not in my right mind...but i had to force myself, for my carrer and me....myself...was my only hope to keep me going...but who knew i would die on that day....a little girl who was trying to make her life better....the light inside of me died....i didn't even knew how i would spend my life from this day on...i was scared...as hell.......all those feelings overcame me as i was sitting in the middle of nowhere, my mind went blank.....not letting me be concious.....i didnt wanted to be anyway

"......ke saath kya aapko Ali hussani se nikkah qubool hai?" (with this, are you accepting to marry Ali hussani?)  

i didn't answered...as everyone stated wispering out of nowhere.....then i felt a sudden hand rub on my back just to see kulsum, giving me a slight smile 

"nashwa?" my mother said narrowing her brows to look at me with concern and i quickly turned my head to look at her with tears in my eye's ruining my makeup.....yea, there's also a reason...i didn't wanted to dissapoint her too i said as i looked down to see the marrige certificate i had to sign.

the sight of it made me tear from inside.....as more tears flow down my cheeks, my heart on its edge to burst.... beating...as much as it can bear 

"qubool hai" (accepted) i said and signed the paper 

"qubool hai"  another signature

"qubool hai"  and the last one....which made my hand tremble in fear.....it was shaking...to the point where it was not in my control, it made me suprised myself on the sight of how my body reacted.......at last with no choice left my mother pushed my hand a little hand forward holding it as i signed with my trembling hands.....the last point of regretion, my life was ended.......just why did i had todo that?.......only just why i didn't had any other choice? just why coudn't i stay away from all of this?.... even though it all means to run away.......just why?? 

the thoughts..and overthinking filled my mind again as i covered my face with my two bare hands having nothing but 3 white and milk coloured bangles in each hand......then bursting out in tears and two hands from each side covered me.....then the second..they were gone

because to my realisation the parda was removed and Ali was standing infront of me, despite being happy...my mind, my face...my everything went blank for the moment.......like i had no power...and i actually didn't 

i was sitting there staring at him as he took some steps forward and sat infront of me.......my face was still covered in that net veil, percing the shadow of my face and sparkling shade of my tears and smuged mascara.....and my dead eyes staring right into him 

and  then he softly removed my veil off my face revealing my messed up face......thought that he will look at me with lustful eye's his eye's instead were filled with sparkels and love and a beautiful smile crept on his face......why am i calling it beautiful? i dont know.....it was just filled with loveness, true his eye's were fixed into mind ignoring the others existence with pure divoted love....

a confusing love.....atleast to me, and taking about the word 'love' i still didn't  trusted it 

"mar gayi hoon mai....sukoon mila?" (i died.....are u relieved?) i said with an empty face...not moving a single eyelid or a muscle.....just staring into his sould as i saw his smile went away and the eye's changed it's emotions.....into the most confusing thing one could understand