𝙈𝙀𝙍𝙄 𝘿𝙐𝙇𝙃𝘼𝙉

𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑬

𝔸𝕃𝕀 ℍ𝕌𝕊𝕊𝔸ℕ𝕀:-

her comming towards me was like a total blessing from allah...once in a blue moon ,the apple of my eye came to talk to me....but how selfish of me ,unsure about the fact that she will hurt me in the worst way possible 

"mujhe tumhari andhi aank se nafrat hai" (i hate your blind eye) her words came crashing down my heart tearing it apart like it was never to be repaired, such that my eyes lowered with shame....and the hatred towards my own eye, 

my beloved...if i had the power...not just my eye but i could change every inch of me for you. and if i am being brudely honest..i felt myself totally numb 

to the point where my heart was about to burst and say 'my love,please accept me' but..its true that when mouth cant speak eyes do, but what if my beloved knows how to read eyes? i thought as i tried to control my tears forming a frown....i didn't wanted to give her more she already looks mad and furious 

"mai tumhe pasand nahi karti...ab samaj mai aayi baat!" (i dont like you..you understand)

no reason for her to admit it ,i already knew it for the past years...but you know my love, you've made me so sad that i havent stopped crying in isolation in my room for the past weeks being completely empty from inside without you....why do you gotta be so harsh? 

"pasand karo ya nahi...meri dulhan toh tum banogi hi" (like it or not..your gonna be my bride) 

i spoke...forming a little smile on my ugly face...getting a little motivation from inside of me to finally speak...and what i spoke was the truth....its either her or no one....she can't possibly ruin my whole life like she did for the past weeks...right??

"kya matlab?" (what do you mean?) she asked sharpening her eyes more to look at my face....

"matlab ki meri jaan...kuch bhi ho jaao, aap meri hi rahogi"(means my love..despite the fact..you are still mine)  i answered....and if i had known...i was completely lost in my words not paying attention to what she will think....cant blame me, my inner self was begging to say her things that i only imagined telling her 

"koshis karna hai toh karo....mujhe farak nahi padhne wala"(try it if you want i dont care) she replied...ofcourse meri aakri saans tak koshis karunga  (i will try until my last breath)

"aur agli baar mujhe uss naam se kabhi mat bulaana" (and next time dont ever call me by that name) she stated angrly and went off stomping her feet 

i was left completely pale and my facial expressions toned down....i totally loved that name and was habituated of calling her that...obviously in my mind and if she wanted i cannot dare call her by that name again or...maby she hates that name because of me?

i was left with alot of questions....but like i said i will try again again and again....until you agree or until i die my beloved....nashwa...my eyes softened by thinking about her name 

tera sirf naam sunkar dharkan badh jaati hai 

soch jab tere naam se itni mohabbat hai toh tujhse kitni hogi 

my head screamed and just wanting her to accept me even if it means to loose myself....cause i know if i get her ,i will, eventually find myself in her 

and now i was determend to try her again whenever i got the chance todo so...with that i went home and now it was the time to choose a university...it was easy for me as i was the top at my collage but still i wanted to go where nashwa went....sad news, i dont know which university she will choose or maby got in.....and i was sure that farah is no way gonna tell me anything about it

i just hope she dosent go far away from here...i expected as i left the application sheet blank...waiting till i know where she will go 

******

its been two day since graduation and i still didnt got to know where she went....and shut it i have had enough of the play 'just sit and wait' cause i have been doing it for the past 48 hours...and i was obviously out of patience and so i simply barched into my sisters room to find her sitting on her bed scrolling though reels...

i didnt wanted to make it obvious that i just came here to know about nashwa so i played it cool 

"well farah...which university did you choose?" i asked standing at the door and my one arm prop up on the door handle swaying my eyes all over the room 

"well...osmania university of arts....its quiet near so..." she stated clearly confused by my behaviour 

"soo....you got selected?" i interrogated, clearing my throat making it sound normal which was obviously not working 

"i am still waiting.................for a reply?" she gave a long pause and said 

"what about you" 

"oh me?? i haven't decided yet"  my tone quickned with an akward smile thinking of how to ask her about my love 

"no.............whats worng with you today?" she is now 100% doubting me...i gulped....if she knew i was gonna talk about nashwa...i would be a dead meat for sure 

"and...about your friends?" i said in an unclear voice and turned around to not see her ugly expressions 

"just say you wanna know about nashwa" hearing her words made me turn as quickly as possible..in suprise...SHES GONNA TELL ME?