The way I walked trough hell

Why?

Why" is just a question I want to ask life.

Why did this happen to me?
Why did life decide to torture me?

I never asked for this.
I never signed up for the war.

The fight I have now
is something I never asked for.

But I am forced,
forced by the voices in my head,
forced by my memories from the past.

And now I am stuck in a loop,
stuck like frozen ice cups.

It made me play with knives
just to get a sense of life.

Just to get a feeling of relief.
But now I am in disbelief.

Now I am in addiction
because life did an inscription.

I will never get why life gave me this war,
and it's something I never asked for.

It is just a big disbelief
and a feeling of anger that never leaves.

But there isn't anything I can do to the past,
so I will just deal with it as long as it lasts.

A fight of hell and heaven,
hoping they will get even.

And even if they don't,
I will be fighting with every bone.

Just to find that silver lining and survive
or until the day I unalive