Dare You To Love Me

«35» rekindling old friendships

Their presence was like a balm to her weary soul as she observed them–Zarah’s reserved smile, Layla’s infectious enthusiasm, and Amira’s uncertain gaze, speaking volumes about their willingness to seek her forgiveness.

Her heart swelled with affection for them, grateful for their efforts to mend their fractured friendship.

It had been a long time since they had had a sleepover, and every single one usually started and ended with Yaseerah being the pariah because Nadia always picked on her and made subtle jabs no one could blame her for, while the others–except Amina who occasionally put Nadia in her place–watched and laughed it off.

Yaseerah hoped tonight would be different and if it weren’t, well...she had the option of kicking them out–a thought that had her lips tilting up into a smile, as once again she came to the realization that she no longer lived under her father’s roof and as such, she didn’t need to cater to her friends, or anyone else’s whims.

“How are you feeling?” Amina leaned in to whisper, her tone cautious as she assessed her cousin. “Fou’ad told me what happened. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m just tired,” Yaseerah responded, echoing the statement she’d made to Fou’ad earlier. “I just want to close my eyes and sleep but my exhaustion is more than just in my body, I feel it everywhere. It’s in my heart, in my mind, in my soul, in everything that I am. Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever not be tired.”

“Oh, Yaseerah,” Amina’s heart twisted, as she wrapped her arms around Yaseerah, feeling torn between wanting to rejoice in the fact that she had opened up to her, and the fact that she couldn’t help her with anything to ease her exhaustion, or everything else she was going through. “I wish there was more that I could do for you.”

“Just being here is enough,” Yaseerah smiled gently, as she watched the others, feeling like a significant weight had been lifted off of her shoulders.

“You really mean it?” Amina’s words were hopeful, even though she didn’t want to make the moment about her.

“Have I ever said something I didn’t mean?” Yaseerah rolled her eyes, answering Amina’s question with a question.

Amina let out a long suffering sigh, knowing it was per for the course with her cousin to run away from conversations that dealt with emotions.

“Just say the word, and I’ll send them away,” she squeezed Yaseerah’s arm reassuringly, choosing to change the subject. “If you ask me, I don’t think socializing is the best cause for you right now. I know they say they mean well but you can’t erase years of bad blood in a day. I wanted to tell Fou’ad no but...” she trailed off, blowing out a breath, as her gaze narrowed on Layla and Amira who were now focused on the theme of Yaseerah’s bedroom whispering to each other just like they–Amina and Yaseerah–were doing. “He sounded so distraught and angry, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I think I owe you an apology Amina.” Yaseerah’s lips tilted into another real smile, as she tilted her head to the side so she could see her cousin clearly. “You’ve been such an amazing friend and cousin to me for all these years, and all I did was–”

“The past is the past,” Amina cut her off, smiling widely. “Water under the bridge, like you said earlier. Let’s not dwell on it any longer, and just focus on the here and now, like the fact that you’ve got that man wrapped around your little finger.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Yaseerah ducked her head down, hiding a smile, earning a loud chortle from Amina.

“You do know what I’m talking about,” Amina singsonged, as she pinched Yaseerah’s arm playfully.

Yaseerah chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth and comfort in her cousin’s presence. “Alright, maybe just a little.”

Amina grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I knew it! So spill, what’s going on between you two? Have you finally made up?”

Yaseerah hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. “It’s... complicated. We still haven’t had a proper conversation but I’m still processing everything, trying to work things out on my end.”

Amina’s expression softened, her playful demeanor giving way to empathy. “I’m sorry, Yaseerah. I know things haven’t been easy for you lately.”

Yaseerah nodded, feeling a lump form in her throat. “Thank you, Meeeeee. It means a lot to me.”

Amina pulled her into a hug, holding her close. “You don’t have to thank me, Yaseerah. I’m your cousin, and your friend, even though it’s taken you such a long time to figure that out, because you have such a strong coconut head. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what, even in moments when you tell me you don’t need me.”

Yaseerah felt a wave of gratitude wash over her, grateful for her unwavering support, knowing that she was lucky to have her cousin by her side, in spite of everything that had happened in the past.

“Have you gone to see Mamu yet?” Amina asked softly, eyeing her cousin cautiously, as if she was afraid something bad was going to happen at the mention of Mamu’s name.

“No.”

“Yaseerah...” Amina trailed off, sighing when her cousin’s expression shuttered. “You know that you can’t keep hiding from her forever.”

“I’m not hiding from her. I just don’t want to talk about her right now, please. I just... I need time. I don’t... I can’t...” Tears burned the backs of her eyes, and she angrily wiped them away, swallowing past the lump in her throat. “I don’t want to talk about her, or my father, or Fou’ad, or anyone. Just let me have this moment please.”

“Okay,” Amina nodded reluctantly, even though every part of her wanted to argue. “You’ve got it. Let’s just–”

“Hey, you two!” Layla hollered, garnering their attention. “What are you whispering about? Get over here!”

Amina gave Yaseerah’s arm a reassuring squeeze before they both joined the group, immersing themselves in the laughter and chatter that filled the room.

Despite the lingering heaviness in her heart, Yaseerah found a strange solace in their presence. Yet, beneath her gratitude laid a yearning, a deep-seated longing for someone else, someone whose absence weighed heavily on her.

***

Here it is, as promised 🤞🏾.

See you, Monday.

But before then, I would really love to hear your thoughts before we move on to the next part of the book.

What do you think about the characters? Their relationships, their mannerisms etc.

Even if it's just a word, or an emoji really, I will truly appreciate your response.

Xoxo, Jidderh ❤️