Blurred Lines

19. the punishment ⚠️

trigger warning: panic attack

no smut, not sorry:)

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Emily's eyes widen as she takes in my suddenly flustered state. "Sit, Angel," she gently directs me. I sink into my chair, my nails digging into the palms of my hands in my lap. My eyes burn holes into my plate, my anxiety spiking. "Angel. Y/n?" Emily tries to get my attention, but I can't look at her, or I'll be thrown into a panic attack. She recognizes this, and slips from her seat, moving towards me. I finally jerk my gaze to hers, as she sinks to her knees in front of me for the second time today.

"Hey, sweetheart," she croons softly, ""You're okay. You're safe, Angel." I blink at her, my chest heaving as tears burn in my eyes. She reaches for me slowly, as if I'm going to detonate, and honestly, I might. Her hands pull me from my chair, making me collapse against her. She moves to sit behind me, wrapping her arms tightly around me in a vice-like grip. I struggle for a moment, then give in when I hear her soft voice in my ear. "Breathe, my love. It's okay, I'm right here. Emmy's got you,"  she whispers. I hadn't realized I had started gasping for air, crying out her name.

"Follow my breathing, sweetheart, okay?" she asks me softly. I grab at her arms wrapped tightly around me, clinging to her desperately. She takes slow, exaggerated breaths so I can feel her rhythm against my body. She sucks in a particularly sharp breath as I clutch even tighter to her, my nails digging into her as I try to ground myself in her embrace. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I gasp out, pressing back into her desperately. She just hugs me to her impossibly closer, murmuring continuous sweet things in my ear. "Come on, love, breathe with me," she tries again, taking those exaggerated breaths for me. I finally get a grip on myself enough to take a deep gasping breath, and then another. Finally, I sag against her, hot, sweaty, and weary, our grip still tight on each other.

"You're safe with me, Y/n," Emily breathes, pressing a soft kiss to my temple in reassurance. "I'm sorry," I brokenly rasp, my throat dry. She swiftly lets go of me for the briefest moment to pull a glass of water from up on the table. "Here, baby," she murmurs, holding the glass up to me. I go to reach for it with trembling hands, and she tsks softly at me. "Let me help you," she continues in that low sweet voice, and brings the glass to my lips. I gratefully sip at the water, resting a hand on the glass as she carefully watches me until I pull away.

She sets the glass down, then pulls me to look at her. Worry is etched across her face, and my heart sinks. I came here for a completely different purpose, and instead managed to give Emily a fright. "I'm-" I start, but she just brings a hand to my cheek, pressing her thumb to my lips, stopping my words. "Stop apologizing for something that you can't control, Angel," she tells me, her voice soft. I blink at her, completely at a loss. She just smiles gently at me, then stands, pulling me up with her.

She guides me to the couch, bringing the water glass with us. She sets it down on the coffee table in front of us before settling back into the couch, her eyes never leaving me. "Y/n, I think I know what happened just now, but can you please explain it to me so I understand?" she asks gently. "Um," I furrow my brow, staring into the fire that dances in her fireplace. I will explain to her, after I get over how kind and caring she's been with me this whole time. It's a complete one eighty compared to the last week, and honestly, my mind is reeling.

I'm not sure what I expected when it came to this dynamic that we are so foolish in establishing, but it definitely wasn't whatever this is. I was expecting something like what I was in before, where I live to serve, please, and live for my dom. It's what I do at work, I get told to do something, and I do it. My own emotions and feelings aren't involved, or really thought about, because it's not about me. It's about the job I'm there to do. This is new to me, I don't understand this kindness that she's showing me.