16. the start

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"Finally," Tara breathes, coming over to grab the mug from me, "What the hell took so long? Y'all weren't necking, were you?" She gives us a grin, wiggling her eyebrows at us. I roll my eyes, not in the mood for Tara's teasing. "Tara, that was one time, we were drunk, and it was a dare," I brush past her, falling into my seat at the table.

JJ whispers to Tara, and she nods in understanding. "Sorry, Y/n," she murmurs, coming to sit next to me. "It's fine," I run a hand through my hair and glance over at Emily. She's pacing, listening to Alvez and Reid intently through the earpiece she now has. "Do not breach until I tell you to," she commands, staring at the carpeted floor as she walks. "Fuck, what was that?" she asks sharply, "Go, Alvez, fucking go in."

She's tense, and tightly strung. I glance over at Tara, an eyebrow raised. "She's stressed because we think the unsub has hostages, and you were right, it's a suicide-by-cop scenario," Tara whispers to me. "Shit," I mutter softly back to her. Emily shoots us a glare, and I immediately look at the table, knowing that she needs to be absolutely focused right now.

I glance and JJ and Tara, who glance back at me. There's nothing we can do to help, and I can tell the two women are getting anxious. We sit there in anticipation, waiting for updates. I lean my head on the table, my eyes tracking Emily as she continues pacing in agitation. "Alvez, Reid, I want updates," she hisses through the earpiece.

She stops in her tracks and presses her hand to her ear, listening intently. I find myself holding my breath as I watch her. She finally relaxes, saying, "Great, now get back here so we can get home." I let out my breath, knowing that the guys are safe, and the unsub is caught. "He's dead," Emily announces simply to the three of us.

She starts unpinning the photos and evidence from the board, and JJ and Tara start cleaning off the table of our files. I set myself, and go to stand next to Emily, silently helping her with the board. She doesn't acknowledge me, and I'm fine with it. I reach blindly for a pin as I shuffle the papers in my hand, and freeze as Emily's hand brushes mine, going for the same pin I was.

"Sorry," I whisper, retracting my hand immediately. She pulls the pin from the board. "Y/n," she says softly. I look at her. She gazes back at me, her eyes softer than they've been this entire case. I swallow harshly, my heart racing in my chest as I hold her gaze. Her lips part, as if she's going to say something, then decides against it. She turns back to the board, once again removing the pins and papers from the board.

I furrow my brow, confused by our interaction. I finish my half of the board, then hand her the pages silently. She takes them from me, murmuring a soft thank you. I nod in response, saved by the guys finally coming back. I step away from Emily, and go to join JJ and Tara in greeting Spence and Luke back.

We gather around the table, waiting for Emily to start our debrief. She simply stands at the table, and sighs. "Let's go home, we can debrief on the jet," she says softly, "Luke, you and Spencer are riding with me, I want to talk to you about the take down." I breathe a sigh of relief at her words as we get ready to head out.

The ride to the hotel to get our bags is mostly silent, save for the occasional comment from Tara or JJ, both attempting to get me to talk. I just hum in response to what they say, staring out the window, shutting them down. I drag my feet to the hotel room, not wanting to be around Emily alone. I unlock the door, and cautiously enter the room.

There she is, packing her bag. "Hey," I venture, going to my own bag. "Hi," she says softly back. I don't look up at her, focusing on gathering my things and shoving them into my bag. My thoughts race, my anxiety spiking as I realize that once we get back to the BAU I am going to get disciplined by the woman a few feet away from me.

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