She was trapped by her own mind. She was fighting with the voice in her head every single moment. But, she could never completely win. Instead, she was always half- conscious. They weren't able to control her completely. So, there were always two voices in her mind. It was more tiring than being completely controlled.
Her mind was getting weak. She was losing some of her memories. She was forgetting the good ones, but living the bad ones again every single day. After the big wars with the voice in her mind, she would sometimes live worse memory loses. She would ask her name, begg to guards to tell her where she was. And she would never get answer so that she would throw, break everything.
She and other prisoners had a timetable. First day was experimenting day for Nova. She would spend her day in experimenting room. The Doctors would take blood from her or do other experiments. Some would be painful.
The second day was training day. That was the only time she could see other prisoners. They would all be in a large room, learning how to fight without magic. They would have some bruises on their body after that day. But that wasn't the most painful one.
The third day would always be punishment day. It was not because that the prisoners would do something bad. No, this day was to remind them that they were prisoners or slaves. For Nova it was terrible at first. But then she got used to pain. They would usually use heat on her as she would live more pain due to her heritage.
Due to the voice in her mind, she would always go willingly to the torture. Guards wouldn't even handcuff her. She would always be completely silent even if there was a war in her mind. The war was harder than torture. However, she would never give up.
The fourth day would be Nova's magic training. She was being taught different tricks on that day with the help of her magic.
One day, they decided experiment her mind to see if she could block them. Actually, the manipulation was to make her mind stronger. Once she blocked the voice in her mind, she would be the strongest prisoner.
So, they put a little girl and Nova in the same room. They told her to kill the girl through the voice in her head.
Nova's mind was shouting her to not to do it, while the other voice was telling the opposite.
A dagger appeared in her hand with the shimmer of her silver and black magical power. The girl in front of her burst into tears as she was terrified. One part of Nova was screaming out loud to her to stop. But, she walked closer to the girl and raised her hand to stab her.
"Please, don't kill me." The girl begged between her sobs.
Her words made Nova realise what she was doing. Years ago, she was the one who was begging. The scene played in front of her eyes.
Flashback
"Please, don't kill me." Nova was begging her father with tearful eyes.
All she had done was crying as she was afraid. Now, she was being punished for it. The pain had been burning her inside and out. She had felt weaker at every single kick. She had screamed for help and her father went mad. He was standing in front her with a sword on her neck threatening to kill her.
"Haven't I told you to not to cry? You are pathetic and disgusting." Odin yelled and then raised his other hand to hit Nova.
He put all of his rage in that hit so that Nova collapsed onto the cold floor. She was trying so hard to hold her tears back to be loved by Odin. But her tears were stubbornly falling down her cheek no matter how hard she wiped them away.
"You will never be a Goddess." Odin said and left the room.
End of Flashback
She stepped away from the girl in difficulty. The other voice kept telling her to kill the girl. But, Nova couldn't do it. She was holding her head in her hands since there was an immense headache. It took some minutes of her concentrate. And once she did, the pain and most importantly the other voice was gone.
She had control of everything for once in 800 years. She had control of her mind. After realising this, she saw the afraid girl in front of her. Many of Nova's memories were gone, but she remembered what she was about to do and what she had turned into. She was a monster, in the girl's eyes. A quote came to her mind:
"If victims don't heal they become abusers."
Had she really turned into an abuser just like her father?
"I-I am sorry." She could just say that.
Suddenly, the guards got in and tried to take Nova's arms. But, she kicked them both in a second. She was taught to be strong and she hadn't trained for nothing all those years.
"A friendly recommendation: don't dare to touch me again." Nova said. "Yet, I need to meet your boss. Where is she?"
There was no response, so she kicked one of the guards to make him answer. The guard explained her the location of the room. Nova, went to Hel's throne room immediately. She kicked the doors open to see Hel having a meeting with doctors.
"What do you want from me?" Nova asked.
"Haven't anybody taught you manners?" Hel asked.
"What.do you.want.from.me?" Nova asked again trying to control her emotions.
Hel motioned the doctors to leave.
"I see you finally blocked us completely." Hel said happily. "Now, no-one will be able to manipulate you."
"You seem so happy about this. I think you little brain doesn't understand that this 'no-one' includes you and your pets as well." Nova said. "I can do whatever I want."
"What will you do? Go back to your step-father who had happily got rid of you?" Hel asked.
"I don't have a step-father." Nova said coldly.
"Oh no, haven't they told you?" Hel said, pretending to be sad.
"Told what?" Nova was running out of patience.
"Too many years ago, Odin defeated Laufey, the king of Jotunnheim. On his way back, he saw a girl baby of Laufey and thought that the baby would be useful to cause peace between Asgardian and Jotunns. Her original name was Loki, but Odin named her Nova. And she a frost giant grew up as an Asgardian." Hel spoke. "Haven't you ever wondered why Odin was disgusted of you, favoured Dora? How he easily gave you in exchange of power? Because, you are the monster who parents tell their children at night."
"You have nowhere to go. You have a revenge to take. That's why, you will stay and obey me." Hel added.
Nova was in shock. There were tears threatening to fall in her eyes. Hel's words were replaying in her mind. She was a monster. The monster parents tell their children about at night. The place she claimed as her homeland was the place she was the biggest threat to. Her only rescue was taken from her due to thing she hadn't chosen to be. There was no hope anymore. The only thing left to do was just turning into what she was trying to not to be all those years...A monster.
