One Helluva Team (Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss OC Story)

Chapter 4: LOO LOO LAND

Octavia: It's a band.

Osric: They have fan clubs that are specifically made for sinners who hate their dads.

Stolas: (bemusedly) Ohhhh! How charming...

Stolas grabs the zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant situated in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pets it. Sated, it falls dormant, closing its three eyes.

Octavia: So, you two done screaming for the day? (sips her coffee)

Stolas: Umm...

Stella lets out another scream of anger and another potted plant is heard shattering in the distance.

Osric: I'll take that as a hard no.

Stolas then thought about something for a moment, and thought of an idea.

Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time, Via? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?

Osric: Isn't that the rip off version of Lu Lu World in Greed?

Octavia: I'm not five anymore.

Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, just the two of us?

Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself.

Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.

Stolas picks up a phone carried on a platter by his now bruised and battered servant.

Octavia: Security for a theme park?

Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!

Osric: (makes some toast) Sucks that we have too many of those types of creeps here.

Octavia grabs a box of cereal on the table and begins shoveling handfuls into her mouth.

Octavia: (under her breath) Our money, maybe.

Osric: (cheekily) I know I'd want your body.

Octavia: (blushes) Hush, you.

Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess. Now... I'm calling the only man who can f*** me!

Both of the owls looked at him in disgust.

Octavia: (drops the handful of cereal) What...?

Osric: Sir, please, not at the table.

Stolas: (immediately backpedaling) Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.

Octavia groans and pulls her beanie down over her eyes. Osric rolls his eyes as he gets the coffee ready.

*I.M.P. HEADQUARTERS*

At the main HQ, Blitzo is busy doing very important work in his office, involving crude representations of Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he puppets around and speaks with. Between them is a framed photo of Blitzo with a robe pulled down off his shoulders seductively and a flower between his teeth. The text reads "#1 Bitch" with "BOSS" written in red over it.

Blitzo: (impersonating Millie) "Oh, Blitzo! You're such a good boss!" (impersonating Moxxie) "Yeah, I really want you, sir." (impersonating Millie) "Me, too!" (As himself) Let's three-way!

Blitzo lowers his "employees" below his desk to crotch level, looking momentarily pleasured before being interrupted by the ringing of his Hellphone. He tosses the puppets aside and answers the phone.