Reflections

Chapter 4-Castiel

"We're sorry." The doctor said, and I was left stunned.

"S-...Stage three?" I choked out. I couldn't believe it. I just couldn't bring myself to.

"We're sorry, Sir, I wish there was more that we could do." The doctor said, her face sunken in and tired. I could tell she was dealing with a lot of stress, but at that moment I couldn't seem to care about her in the slightest. I felt mad at her instead. Surely this was just a sick joke.

"Is this a joke?" I asked, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. "Seriously?!" I yelled, the doctor flinching. But her eyes just said the same thing: "I'm sorry, I wish there was more that we could do."

The Doctor left, leaving me seething. Stage three lung cancer.

"You are a piece of shit, Chuck," I said, my back turned towards my family. "If you just fucking brought him in, this wouldn't have happened!" I turn around to look at my deadbeat father, the one who could've helped Gabriel but didn't. "Why didn't you help him?" I choked out, my eyes filling with tears that hadn't come even when I heard about Gabriels's diagnosis.

Chuck just looked at me with sorrow and pity in his eyes. But he had no right to pity me. This was his fault and his alone, he didn't get the right to the title of Dad or Father, he didn't get the right to be respected, and he didn't get those simple things in life simply because his first youngest son was currently fighting for his life from lung cancer, and he has been for close to a year now.

Lucifer looked at me with worry, but he didn't do shit either. No one but I did. I was so angry that I could barely keep a level head. So, I left, abruptly and quickly.

I needed air, I needed to breathe. I felt my chest tightening, my big brother was sick, and that doctor had the audacity to tell me it was lung cancer? Gabriel was just sick, nothing else to it.

"Castiel," I heard my brother say from beside me.

"Lucifer," I responded, my voice shaky and hoarse from my held-back sobs.

"Gabriel will make it out alright, okay? His family just has to be here for him, to lift his spirits." Lucifer said, and I could hear the sobs deep down in his throat too.

"He's just sick, he'll be fine." I said, irritation in my voice. Why did everyone think Gabriel wasn't going to make it? Wasn't going to survive?

"Don't talk like that," Lucifer said sternly, grabbing my shoulder and turning me to look me in the eyes. "Gabriel does have lung cancer weather or not you can come to terms with it. You need to still be there for your brother, Castiel." Tears raced down his cheeks, his green eyes searching my blue ones. Lucifer was scared, I could see that from just looking into his eyes. He was scared that his most loved brother wasn't going to make it. But Gabriel was going to survive.

I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to answer him. Any and all words I wanted to say died on their way up to my mouth. So, I opted for nodding slowly.

"Let's go visit our brother, okay?" Lucifer said softly, holding my shoulder and back as though I was made of glass.

"Yeah." I agreed, my voice coming out as no more than a whisper.

We walk back inside to the hospital in complete silence, both of our minds running a million miles an hour.

I could feel my footsteps get heavier the closer we got to his room. My heart grew heavier. Everything just felt heavier.

Lucifer stopped me right outside of Gabriel's room, facing towards me and pulling me into a hug. "We'll be alright. I love you, brother." He said softly, looking me in the eyes for a couple of seconds before letting go and quietly opening the door.