Chapter 5

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Nowadays

England

The pulse quickens, a drumbeat pounds in my ears mingled with an ultrasonic hum, and my fingers nervously grip the edge of the university jacket. Ethan's gaze remains fixed on my face, scanning every inch as if he were a robot.

"Mon cheri, why are you afraid of me?" he asks in sickly sweet tones, pausing just two steps away from me. "It's me, your Ethan, your baby, whom you lovingly caressed on that very lawn by the river."

His words make me flinch. A cold shiver runs through my body. Panic begins to rise at the nape of my neck. I wish I didn't know what Ethan Blake is capable of. It would have been much calmer for me right now.

The last thing I want to remember is the time we spent together. Especially HOW we spent it. I was completely under Ethan's control. He instilled in me whatever he pleased. It wasn't easy to do under the influence of the pills, but when I stopped taking them at his suggestion...

"I'll repeat my question once again," I clench my fingers into a fist, digging my nails into the skin, leaving red half-moons. "What the hell are you doing here, Ethan?"

I proudly raise my chin, letting him know that I'm not afraid of him. I've been through a lot of crap in my life, endured a lot, and now I won't break under Blake's pressure. He can't control me like a puppet anymore. I won't allow it.

"Oh, I love it when you're like this," he licks his lips. "My little prickly rose."

"I was never yours," I snarl. "Spill the truth already, Mr. Lawrence."

Ethan's chest shakes with laughter, and he places his hand with a massive family ring on his pinky on it. I involuntarily clench my teeth, feeling phantom pain in that very spot...

"Mon cheri, I've already told you why I'm here," Ethan closes the distance between us, and the familiar scent of bergamot and amber tickles my nostrils. I try not to move, not to provoke the tiger. I feel like a little sheep trapped in a snare.

Once I promised myself that I would never allow myself to be in such a situation again. But I often break my own promises. Unfortunately, this is no exception.

"I came for you," Ethan runs his fingers along my cheek, sending shivers down my skin once again. "I missed you, your lips, your tender hands. You deprived me of sleep and the will to live when you ran away. And I decided it's time to get it all back."

My body freezes as Blake leans in toward my neck, biting the skin near the pulsing vein and then licking the bite. There is a treacherous tug in the lower abdomen, the wings of long-dead butterflies tickle the stomach again, and a quiet moan escapes through clenched lips.

During my time away from the asylum, I thought I had gained resilience and antibodies against the virus named Ethan Blake. But it seems I was very wrong...

My mind vainly tries to resist the body's reaction. I'm disgusted with myself. And this turns out to be the only thread leading to sanity.

I push Ethan away, pressing both palms against his sturdy chest. But it doesn't help much. It only makes him remove his lips from my neck and straighten up. He seems to have been living on protein shakes and steroids since our last meeting. Otherwise, I can't explain the bulging muscles instead of protruding ribs.

"Back off, Ethan," I whisper through clenched teeth. "I didn't miss you, understand? We'll never be together."

"On our last night, you sang quite differently, my little bird," he snorts, adjusting the sleeves of his tweed jacket.

You have no idea how much nonsense I fed you on our last night, Ethan Blake. Because I was damn afraid you'd kill me if you found out the truth.

But of course, I'll never tell him about it. At least because I want to live a little longer.

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