Caught In A Lie | Hwang Hyunjin

17: Say it

"Just call him"

"I can't just call him, Yoonhee. He ghosted me!"

Yoonhee plunged into my bed alongside me. "He didn't ghost you, he's probably just busy."

I glared at the redhead, "Busy for 2 weeks straight?"

Flashback

"How'd you know I liked pink tulips?"

He shrugged, leaning against my bedframe. "Lucky guess."

"No! you knew! there's no way you could've guessed that!"

"Y/N, why are you yelling-"

"How much do you actually know about me Hyunjin?"

He stared at me silently, scanning my face. "Y/N-"

"Tell me!"

"Stop yelling!"

Tick tock

Tick tock

Hyunjin sighed and rubbed his face in annoyance. "What are you seriously trying to imply here? That I'm some creep? Some weirdo w-who would eavesdrop all your conversations with your friends so I'd know what you like? Some freak who bought you a stupid ass candy gram every Valentine's Day with no note? Do you think I deliberately got bags with pink tulips cause I found out you liked them? That I was just in love with you the entirety of high school?!"

When he finally looked up at me again, I could tell he was upset yet.. his eyes held a different emotion.

"Hyunjin-"

"Yeah, I fucking was."

He abruptly threw the blanket off him, gathering his things as he spoke. "And I did all those things, and I don't regret a single fucking thing. wanna know why?"

He stopped moving around and turned to look at me. I merely nodded my head.

"Cause they made you smile."

My heart thumped in my chest and I felt short of breath. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going home."

"But it's so late-"

"I'll only stay if you tell me you like me back."

My eyes widen, what was I supposed to do in this situation?

"Say it."

It felt like my lungs stopped working and suddenly every breath I took felt too heavy. I wanted to, but I couldn't answer him.

With a scoff, he left. The door slammed behind him, I couldn't find it within me to run after him.

End of Flashback

"He couldn't have just expected you to admit something like that on the spot." Yoonhee attempted to counsel me, But I could tell she was equally lost in this situation.

I sighed and rolled over onto my back as we both stared up at the ceiling. "Forget it, it's too late to say anything now even if I wanted to."

"well, do you want to?"

I looked at her, "What do you mean?"

Yoonhee propped herself up on her elbow, brushing her hair behind her ear. "Well, Do you like him?"

The truth was that admittedly, I think my heart yearned to be around him again. But it felt like my brain and all my logic kept trying to keep me away from feeling anything for him. I was conflicted. "I.. I don't know."

My phone buzzed and I looked over to see a message from Jay. I instantly got up to respond.

"Hanging out with Jay won't fill that void that wants Hyunjin~" Yoonhee teased, nudging me playfully. I shrugged her off.

"Jay isn't some sort of rebound, he's a friend who wants to help me drown my sorrows in alcohol." I hopped off my bed gleefully and walked over to my closet.

"So you admit you're upset over Hwang?"

"Fuck off Yoonhee."

~

"You sure you don't want another shot?" Jay beamed over the music of the loud house party.

It was Jun's. I didn't actually talk to the Seventeen members often, despite being under the same company. Come to think of it, I didn't really know many idols at all, so I took the chance to meet some new people.

Maybe I'd even get a new dating scandal.

"I'm okay Jay, and you shouldn't drink so much either! you're still a baby!" I mocked.

"Oh come on! It's only a two year age gap! I'm a grown man! I know exactly what I'm doing."

While the comment seemed innocent enough, his cheeky grin felt slightly suggestive..

I mentally slapped myself to push the thought away, it was all just Hyunjin's silly theories creeping in and affecting me.

Why am I even thinking of Hyunjin right now?

I was barely tipsy, knowing I'd end up being the designated driver by the end of the night. The more I listened to Jay's half drunk voice, The more I felt Hyunjin's words dance around the back of my mind.

"Come on Y/N, you can't seriously be that dense! Jay is in love with you!"

"If he didn't love you he would know how to respect the fact that you're taken!"

"Why can't you see what's right in front of you?"

"You know Jay does like you right?"

"He's in love with you!"

"You've got him so deep into the friendzone that even his pathetic attempts are coming off friendly"

"No guy, and I repeat, No guy! treats their female friends the way he treats you!"

"Y/N? You alright?" Jay's hand reached for my wrist.

I snapped back to reality and looked at him, his gentle gaze, his concerned smile, his fingers grazing my wrist,

"I know damn well he doesn't deserve you."

I need to get out of here.

I couldn't breathe, it was all so suffocating.

I carefully pulled my hand away from Jay's grasp. "I'm gonna head outside for a bit, it's pretty crowded here.."

I turned to walk away till I felt the younger boy's hand grab my shoulder, "Should I come with you?"

I quickly denied and thank him before leaving. I didn't know what was going on with me, I just knew I needed to get out.

As I  headed for the door, my gaze landed on someone I wasn't expecting to see.