Breathe the ocean in

29

MARI

We're from the different worlds, we couldn't have met. But now it's a year we're forced to share quarters. He wants to keep me in his golden cage forever. And the more he wants it, the more I'm eager to outrun. It's all right if I hurt both of us, the tragedy is that we're already hurt. So what's the difference then?

New person in the house ruins everything we've got used to during the year little by little. Our kitchen smells like homemade food now, not with the delivery. I'm refusing to eat what she cooks, still ordering my meal or eating fruits and vegetables. Kir doesn't see any harm in eating his wife's cookery and he's glad to it. It's hard to admit it even to myself that his attitude wounds me. Such a small thing, really! But this small thing it feels like one more tiny treason. Alia is only seventeen but she's as sly as a fox and determined to curry favor with her husband. Can I blame her for that? She draws his attention to herself constantly, twitters the sweet nothings in a lovely voice and asks for his help every now and then. And he stays oblivious to the fact that he's falling into the trap allowing her more and more. Why not? She's young, pretty and she suits him much more than I do. Sometimes I feel myself like an old lifetime-wise woman who has to live with two teenagers. And I should welcome this chance in hope that if he chooses her, he will probably set me free. But I cannot, it's painful. Yes, he doesn't visit her bedroom anymore, but seeing her fawning all over him is unbearable. My 'Sea line' stays the only forbidden territory for the little sassy, and I tend to spend there as much time as I can.

March passes by carrying away cold and storms, letting me get back to the ocean which opens its waters so friendly. Kir keeps me company unfailingly. Our so sad love now the same as the taut string ready to pop. It doesn't matter if we're swimming, talking or having sex – there's a gap between us.

One day Kir comes from the office much more irritated than I could expect. He met with Samir today. They cut me off from their meeting, and I don't know what was discussed, but this conversation clearly pissed my boy off.

I'm chasing him in the bathroom and trying to clarify what happened. He's pulling me under the rain shower and kissing long enough before he comes down a bit.

- Remember you got wasted and took your clothes of in the shower? - He asks, distracting me. - I wanted to catch you there so damn much. That was sort of naughty of you to tease me like that.

- We can replay, - I'm offering willingly and pulling the wet dress I don't need any more off.

The streams of warm water are flowing down our bodies while we're caressing each other everywhere we can only reach. I had to turn him down once and for all after the wedding, but I'm too weak for it, and he's overly persistent. Besides there's a haunting thought in the back of my mind: I'll win sooner playing the 'giveaway game'. Anyways it's so sweet to surrender. It's not our first time in the shower, but this one sinks into my heart with its shrillness.

And afterwards Kir says that we have to move to the guest bedroom. My laugh comes out quite wicked. Now it's clear what were they talking about with his father: our baby complained to someone about being undermined of her rights. And Kir is ready to comply with his family demand chickening out. Rumors and third-party speculations are so much more important, aren't they?

- You may stay here, - I say angrily. - I'll just change places with her.

- Don't start it, Mari. I'll be living with you, this is not discussed, - he's furious either, but there's more exhaustion than anger in his voice still.

- I'm sorry, - I hide my face on his breast. After a small thinking I add. - It's not the bedroom what made you so pissed-off. Any other bad news?