In Another Life || Cedric Diggory

16. The Confession & Eyes Of Honey

"How could I possibly forget, darling?"

I turned my head when he kissed her forehead. I couldn't help but grimace at the pet name he used for her.

Why? Why did it have to be Cho Chang? I wasn't the type of person to hate anyone; I wasn't even sure if I was capable of doing so, but Chang was certainly testing that theory. I couldn't help the surge of jealousy that coursed through me anytime I saw the two of them together.

Still, I felt guilty. Cedric was happy with her. That much was plain as day. He had stars in his eyes anytime she was around. Shouldn't his happiness be enough for me? If I truly loved him, shouldn't that be all that mattered? Was I making the right choice by making my feelings known for him? Or was I being selfish?

My stomach churned anxiously as Cedric and I walked side by side through the courtyard. We stopped walking when we got to a giant tree that provided ample shade. This was about as private as we could get. He leaned against the tree and folded his arms across his chest, looking at me with pure curiosity.

"So, what do you need to talk to me about?" He asked, his eyes dancing with anticipation.

I cleared my throat nervously and stared down at the ground. There was a tiny pebble that caught my eye. I focused on it as I tried to collect my thoughts. "Um. I-uh," I trailed off.

It felt like my heart was trying to fly away. My face flushed immediately. No doubt, I was as red as a tomato. Cedric chuckled in amusement at my frazzled expression.

"Elliana, what's going on? You look like you're going to pass out," he teased.

I knew I shouldn't be doing this. By admitting my feelings for him, I would be ruining everything between us. Our friendship would crumble like the walls of Jericho. He would never look at me the same again. Still, for some reason, I knew I had to tell him regardless of the outcome. With the third and final challenge coming up, I had to confess my feelings for him.

"The final challenge is coming up," I blurted out, earning a confused look from him.

"Yeah?" He flashed me a smile. "Are you worried? I'm going to be fine, you know."

A pit formed in my stomach. "I certainly hope so, Ced. I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you," I admitted, blushing like a fool.

His smile grew, making his grey eyes dance. "Well, you won't have to find out."

Butterflies engulfed my stomach, fluttering about so violently that I thought I was going to get sick.

"Regardless, Ced... There's something I need to tell you. Tomorrow is never guaranteed and I just.. I just.. need to tell you..."

I could feel my face heating up even more if that was even possible. My hands flew to my cheeks as I blinked rapidly at Cedric's bewildered face. He stepped away from the tree and stood directly in front of me. My heart was pounding as he knelt down so he was face to face with me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, unknowingly causing my heart to skip a beat.

His gray eyes poured into mine as he spoke, "You can tell me anything."

Can I? I knew that I was about to ruin everything, and I knew I was being extremely selfish, but I had been in love with this boy for six years and I couldn't not tell him. Despite knowing that my feelings were unrequited- Despite him having a girlfriend that he was crazy about- I had to tell him. Because tomorrow isn't guaranteed for any of us. And with the third and final challenge looming in the horizon, I felt that much more desperate to confess. If something happened to him without him knowing how much he meant to me, I wouldn't be able to live with it. I sounded like a broken record..

His warm hand on my shoulder was all that was holding me together in that moment. As I opened my mouth to speak, the words tumbled out, desperate to escape the confinement of my heart-

"I'm in love with you."

All I heard for a good ten seconds was the sound of my heartbeat echoing in my ears as if to taunt me. Eventually, his jaw went slack. All the color drained from his face as he slowly removed his hand from my shoulder and dropped it to his side.

He ran a hand through his hair and stared out into the distance. His face was void of all emotion. I could feel myself starting to panic, so I inhaled a deep breath, trying desperately to calm myself. Since that was out on the table, I might as well continue with my confession.

"The truth is... I've had feelings for you since first year. It was always you, Ced. I know that me telling you this puts you in an awkward situation and I'm sorry," I breathed out, fighting against the tears that were welling up in my eyes. "But I had to tell you. I hope you understand."

He pressed his lips into a thin line. His gray eyes locked with mine. My heart was in my throat as he finally opened his mouth so speak, "Elliana... I... I'm with Cho."

"I know," I was quick to say. "That's why I didn't tell you sooner."

He exhaled loudly. His face twisted into a grimace. I watched as a 'v' formed between his eyes and I knew what that meant- He was stressed; he was frustrated. He ripped his eyes from mine and stared out into the distance once again.

"I love her, Elle," he stated firmly, his mouth turning down in a frown.

I furrowed my brows in confusion when he called me by my nickname. He always called me by given name; that was the first time he had ever not called me 'Elliana'. My heart dropped to my stomach.

"I know that," I whispered around the lump in my throat, blinking against the tears.

He ran his hand through his hair again, causing it to stand up on end. "Why are you telling me this? I mean, why you are telling me now?"

I inhaled slowly, letting the air fill my lungs. "I just.. I don't know. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed for any of us and with the third challenge coming up, I just felt like I needed to tell you. I needed you to know."

He clenched his jaw. I shifted my weight anxiously from one foot to the other.