The Beautiful Game ~Neymar Jr~

Not In Love

"Bea?"

The voice nearly paralyzed me. Marc and I pulled away from each other and slowly turned to look at who just walked in on us.

"Mila, thank God it's you." I sighed.

I was so thankful that Mila, and not Neymar, had walked in. Mila could keep a secret. She wouldn't tell Neymar, or anyone else about Marc and I. She, other than Marc of course, was the only one who knew that Marc and I dated for a year back in high school.

I let go of Marc's ice pack and walked over to Mila.

"Beatrice, what is going on?! Why were you kissing Marc? You do know that Neymar is about 30 seconds away from this room, right? If he were to walk in... I don't want to even know what would happen." Mila whispered.

"Mila I know, and I understand Neymar is here and I should be dying of joy. Don't you think I know I can't be with Marc, especially now that Neymar is asking me to go to Spain with him?!"

"Woah, wait. Ney asked you to go back to Spain with him?"

"Yes! But Mila, I'm scared! What I just did felt uncontrollable. Actually, pleasantly uncontrollable. But, that's besides the point. You know my history with Marc. You know my history with Neymar. You know me, Mila! You should understand that what I just did wasn't that bad." I tried to justify.

I stared at her, waiting for a response. Ney and I weren't even dating. We just got reunited after not seeing each other in what felt like decades. I had to come up with some sort of justification of what I've just done. But, deep down, I was just as repulsed with myself as Mila probably was right now.

"You know what, fine. I won't tell anyone. But are you out of your mind? I don't agree with what you've just done, because you've got a gorgeous man waiting for you, who wants to give you everything you could dream of! He loves you Bea! You know he does, and you do this?"

Mila just stared at me, and when she realized I couldn't think of anything else to say, she scoffed, and left the room.

I groaned at how stupid I was, and went back to check on Marc. Hopefully we could sort this out and put it all behind us.

Marc was looking down at the ground, still holding the ice pack. He looked up at me, and I could see how hurt he looked in his eyes.

"You're... You're with Neymar. That's why he got so mad. You're with... I can't believe you're with the guy that you've hated all your life." Marc stuttered.

"Marc, Ney loves me. Yes, we had our differences but he really is a great guy. You and I have history and you gave me the best year of my life. You were an amazing boyfriend, and I thank you for that. But, we can't happen. This... Just can't be." I paced around the room to ease up the tension.

Marc nodded and looked at me before speaking.

"You're telling me about a man that loves you. Yet you kiss me, and stay here with me. In any other case, wouldn't you be out there? With him? It sounds to me that instead of trying to convince me he's the love of your life, you're trying to convince yourself."

And with that, Marc dropped the ice pack, and left. There I was, all alone, in the back of a kitchen, instead of enjoying my birthday party. Marc's words kept replaying in my head. It scared me how he was right. I had been trying to convince myself. A scary thought hit me : I'm just not in love with Ney.

After a while, I decided I should probably get back to the party. It had died down a little, and was coming to a close. I glanced around and couldn't find Neymar anywhere. Mila was talking to David, and when I passed by them, she gave me a disappointed look. Marc himself was no where to be found as well.

I took out my phone and texted Neymar :

'Where are you? The party isn't over yet.'

'Really? Because it seemed to me it was. Considering you disappear with Bartra and leave your own party.'

'I was just helping him ice his face after you decided to punch him.'

Ney didn't respond after that. I started getting worried. Marc and Neymar came together, so they probably left together. I was hoping Marc would just keep his mouth shut and not bring up anything that had happened to Neymar.

I tried to remain calm for the rest of the party, but the the thought of Marc's words kept returning. After what seemed like ten years, everyone had left. Mila and I had stayed to clean up, which was awkwardly silent. Mila refused to speak to me. I needed her the most now, I needed someone to talk to about this. Mila is my person, and I'm hers. She had to be there for me right now.

When we finished, we got Toby and the gifts and approached the car. We made it home quickly and Mila immediately went to her room without a word.

I decided I would try to talk to her tomorrow morning. Mila and I have gone through so much, there is no way she'll just leave now. I plopped down on my bed after I had changed into more comfortable clothing. Toby jumped up onto my bed next to me, like he usually does, and I attempted to sleep.

All night long, I tossed and turned. I couldn't fall asleep. All I could think of was Ney, and how he was feeling. Would he ever talk to me again? Will he find out I kissed Marc? Would Marc tell him? Thoughts ran through my head, and I couldn't stop them.

I thought about how Neymar asked me to go back to Spain with him. There was not a doubt in my mind I cared for Neymar, but I knew, that in the back of my mind, I didn't love him. The feelings were there, but he seemed to be so much more into the idea of us being together than I was.

The next morning, I decided to give talking to Mila a shot. She was on the terrace, reading a magazine, and eating breakfast. I sat down next to her, and took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Good morning Mila."

She glanced up at me from her magazine, nodded, and went back to reading.

"Um," I mumbled sheepishly, "I think we should talk about... Everything that's happening. I really want to get this off of my chest, and you know me better than I know myself. Please, Mila."

She flipped another page of her magazine, and hesitated. She let out a deep breath, and slowly set the magazine down.

"What do you want to talk about?" Mila said while taking off her reading glasses.

I smiled, knowing that Mila couldn't resist being there for me.

"Last night. I kissed Marc. Neymar asked me to go to Spain with him. They left and I couldn't find them."

"Riz, you kissed Marc. It could have been a 'heat of the moment' kind of thing. Neymar doesn't know, at least I'm pretty sure he doesn't. Marc wouldn't risk getting another punch from Ney." she laughed.

"Yeah, but that doesn't exactly help, Mila. I think I don't want Neymar as much as he wants me. But, I want to. I want to want him. When I kissed Marc, I felt like that was the way I was supposed to be kissed. I felt the butterflies. With Ney, they were gone. Maybe you really can't love someone you've hated all your life." I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

"You're thinking too much." Mila got up and walked into the living room.

I followed her and spoke up.

"Eh, you're probably right. Everything will be okay. I don't want Marc. I'll go back to Spain with Neymar and everything will be okay." I assured myself.

"See, there ya go. That's the way to think." Mila winked.

"Then it's decided. I'm going to call Neymar right now, and tell him I'll go to Spain with him." I smiled.