New Beginnings.

Chapter Fourteen

I have to tell him.

But I have never had a man look at me the way he does.

I lean my head back against the headrest and study his profile. His angular nose, his strong jaw. He turns to look at me and even in the dark cab, with only the flicker of light from the passing street lamps, I see the warmth in his eyes. Love and adoration. But I know that once I tell him about my brief affair with Layne, that warmth will turn cold. That love will sour into betrayal. And adoration to resentment.

"Hey," his voice is warm and low, dragging me back to the present. His hand finds mine in my lap and he laces his fingers with mine, warming my exposed thighs.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

I answer him in my mind, "thinking about how everything is going to change once I tell you." But I'm selfish, I want another night before those warm eyes that are feasting on me now, harden with disappointment.

Instead I say, "I was thinking about what we are going to do when we get back to your house."

"I have a few things in mind," he says with a smile.

I slide across the bench seat so our thighs are touching, he adjusts my legs over his lap and runs his hand under my skirt. His fingers immediately connect with my skin and his eyes widen.

"Jesus, Jen," he murmurs in reaction to me not wearing panties, then bends his head and captures my lips with his. I wrap my arms around his neck, drawing him closer, breathing in his scent.

The taxi driver pulls into his driveway and we hesitantly part. He pays the driver then helps me out of the cab.

He opens the door and I step inside, the familiar scent of his home enveloping me. It has felt like a safe haven, but instead tonight, it is the backdrop of my turmoil.

He turns a light on then sighs, "what a weird fuckin' night," as he pulls his boots off by the front door. He shrugs out of his wet jacket and hangs it over a chair at the granite island in his kitchen. I'm still standing in his foyer with my heeled boots on and wet leather jacket, staring into space.

"Don't worry about it, Jen," his voice startles me out of my ruminating thoughts.

"About what?" I ask stupidly, wishing he somehow was reading my mind and telling me not to worry about my brief affair with Layne, that none of it mattered and he understood. But I know he means the Wrenna debacle tonight.

He chuckles, "you're pretty worried about her aren't you?" He sighs, "don't be, she's a ... well..." he trails off.

"I'm not thinking about Wrenna," I say and in that moment I realize that all of this will probably be over when I tell him. I always find a way to ruin everything.

I cross the wood floor to where he is leaning against the kitchen counter and throw my arms around his neck. With my heels on, I am almost eye level with him. I stare into his dark warm eyes and will him to feel how much I love him. I search his features for the same adoration and immediately find it. His eyes soften, his mouth finds mine and he envelops me in his embrace.

I break from his kiss and stare into his eyes.

He runs his hand down my arm and says, "Jen, what's bothering you tonight?"

"Layne," I croak out.

His eyebrows shoot up and his brow furrows with worry, "You saw him play tonight right? Is he okay?"

I nod and look down at the ground.

"What about Layne?" He replies, his voice tense.

"Can we sit down?" I ask and drag my eyes from the floor to meet his. The look on his face turns my stomach, it's a mix of fear and anger.