New Beginnings.

Chapter Twelve

"Were you able to get some help from legal aid?" Courtney has blocked my entrance into the club's backstage changing room. She only has one of her eyes made up. The long fake lashes, thick eyeliner, and bright blue eye shadow seem even more garish in contrast to her naked, natural eye. Her natural beauty is more striking than the fake creation she has painted on.

I hug her without answering. Her brightly made-up eye contrasted against her natural beauty reminds me of the juxtaposition between Wrenna and me: a natural, classic beauty next to a fake creation of my own doing.

Her strong arms squeeze me in return. She steps back and holds me at arm's length, studying my face. She whispers, "Everything okay?"

I nod. "Yeah, today just made me realize how powerless I am in this world. I can't even figure out my own problems." I can't meet her gaze and instead look to the floor. She squeezes my arms tightly.

"Hey, you aren't powerless. You are resourceful." She shakes me slightly and I can't help but smile.

She grins back at me and says, "People like us have to reframe our thinking. We have this idea that we have to do everything on our own, but successful people are successful because they ask questions, ask for help, and use the resources available to them. We can check our pride and be open to help," She hugs me again and a piece of her clip-in hair extension gets stuck in my mouth.

"Court, your hair is in my mouth," I cough and try to pick her fake hair out of my teeth.

She grins and says, "Honey, you looked hungry."

"Disgusting," I respond with a chuckle as she steps back to let me enter the changing room.

"Wow, full house tonight," I say and place my bag on a seat next to Courtney's. The changing room has a girl taking up almost every mirror.

"Yeah, we have some new girls tonight," Courtney says as she draws a thick line of black eyeliner along her top lid.

"I wonder why... aren't high school graduations still in June? Ain't this a little early?" I ask with a sardonic tone. I'm in a shitty mood tonight. I don't want to be here, I don't want to live this life anymore.

Courtney laughs then responds, "This is probably last June's batch, they just realized college tuition ain't going to be paid by daddy." Courtney winks at me, continuing my joke.

"Time to find a new daddy tonight," I reply. Courtney pokes her eye with the mascara wand when she hears my comment.

"Oh my god, you are awful," she chuckles as she blots a tissue under her watering eye.

"Who should I be tonight, Court? Sexy cheerleader, or depressed woman with no future?" I ask as I begin to undress.

"Honey, aren't they one and the same?" Courtney teases and I find my spirits lifting from her silly banter.

I dress in the cheerleader uniform but leave my hair down and loose. I only add some mascara and then paint my lips a watermelon pink.

Courtney smiles at me when our eyes meet in the mirror.

I kiss her on the cheek and say, "I'll see you out there."

It is a busy night and the floor is packed. I have already made two hundred dollars and I have only been on the floor for an hour. I know why too and the reason is disgusting. Less makeup means I look younger. And tonight, I probably look twelve.

I finish a lap dance and begin to walk back to the bar to get my patron a refill. On my way to the bar, I see Layne enter the club. He is alone like usual. I'm surprised when I don't feel butterflies in my stomach like last time. He is still handsome and alluring, but my strong feelings for Sean now cloud my perception others.