New Beginnings.

Chapter Seven

I spent the rest of the night wondering why I let him have such an effect on me. Wondering why I took his money; why I craved to feel his hands on my body. Why I broke all of my rules for him. I even compromised my safety for him by dragging him to a secluded, dark part of the club.

When my shift ended at 3AM, I packed my bag, dressed in my sweats and sat in the harsh light staring at the napkin he had given me with his number on it. I put the napkin in my wallet and counted out the cash I made. I realize that he ended up giving me five hundred dollars. That's the total amount I usually make on busy Friday nights. I normally only make two hundred on slow nights like tonight.

As I drive home, I replay in my mind what he said to me, the taste of his mouth, and the feeling of his fingertips as he brushed the soft skin under my panties.

The next day I awake in the mid-afternoon after a restless sleep. Each time I closed my eyes, my mind ran rampant with images of his face. The way he leaned his head back against the leather booth while I was on his lap. How his mouth opened slightly and his breath hitched when I rubbed my sex along the erection I felt growing in his jeans. How his eyes darkened when he ran his hand up the back of my leg. But mostly, how his eyes bore into mine and reached past my mask, and touched my fears. He made me feel vulnerable because I think he saw me for who I am.

I crawl out of bed and take a long shower. I have to work at the club again today and I need to get myself in the right headspace. I step out of the shower and wipe the steam from the mirror. I stand in front of the mirror and point at myself. "You can't let your guard down and you sure as shit have got to stop kissing fuckers on the job," I say aloud.

Tonight is a new night. A fresh start and I can pull myself together. As I pack my bag for the evening I remember that today is a holiday so it is going to be another slow night. But at least tonight will be filled with regulars and the lonely. I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that the band guys won't be here tonight and I most likely won't see the man from last night.

"You just have to make it until Monday. Then you can return to Bill's shop and get your head on right." I say this to myself before leaving my house.

I arrive at the club, and it is another dead night. I open the dressing room door and only two other girls are in the room.

"Are we short staffed again?" I ask Maddy as she is tying her bikini top on.

"Yeah, and Phil is about to have the big one. Four girls called out sick today." She answers in her high-pitched voice.

Maddy is beautiful but her voice could shatter glass.

I sit down next to her and pull out my make up bag. She is staring at me and I can tell she wants to say something to me. I turn to her and say, "What's up Mads?"

She giggles before saying, "Hey, I heard Randy had to throw your boyfriend out last night..." She winks at me then continues, "wish I would have thought of that on slow nights."

"What do you mean my boyfriend?" I ask.

"Oh, was that a customer? You were having sex with a customer!" She says her shrill voice growing louder.

"Shhh," I say to her to make her lower her voice. "Mads, I wasn't having sex with him. We were just making out." I admit to her.

She laughs then reaches over and pats my naked thigh. "Good for you honey. All of us girls have wanted you to loosen up a little. Well, except Courtney, but she is a stick in the mud." She says to me in a condescending tone.

I chuckle sardonically at her comment and reply, "Jee, thanks Mads." And shake my head.

I paint my face heavily with foundation, bronzer, lipstick, and a heavy lining of eyeliner. I apply a thick coat of red lipstick, then glue false eye-lashes to my eyes. Tonight, my mask will be thick and glued in place.