delicate

11

I stared at Caroline as she put the last box in the trunk. The pole I'm leaning against is cold and robbing the warmth from my skin. My head feels heavily weighted down as it's resting against the pole. There's not much I hate, but watching my mom leave home to go stay at a lake house for her last week alive makes me feel bitter.

She had tried to make me stay home to stop me from watching her fade away, but I passed on her offer. I'd rather be with her than not. We argued back and forth for a while before I told her I would just meet her at the lake house in three days.

The boards of the porch creaked behind me as footsteps came closer to me. Stefan was the only one in the house. I can feel how hard he's staring at me.

"I know it was stupid, you can stop staring at me like I don't."

"I just don't understand why you did it, Evelyn. We could've found another way."

I watched as Damon helped my mom in the car. "I've told you why. I'm sure you were listening, but you probably didn't hear me over your ego."

He breathed out, laughing softly. I heard his footsteps as he walked up beside me. "I'm sure there were other things he would've accepted as your end of the deal." He was quiet for a few seconds. "Unless you suggested it, then I'm going to need you to walk in a straight line."

I smiled. "I didn't do it because I wanted to get laid."

"Sure. Because if you did then you would've come to me, right?"

The smile faltered from my lips. I stood up straight and turned to face him. "What?"

He looked at me, "I'm... kidding, Evelyn." He shook his head once and furrowed his brows.

I felt an ache in my chest. The tears that were resting in my eyes spilled onto my cheeks.

He turned to face me, a look of concern taking over his features. "What?"

I swallowed and looked to the side. "How do you know about that?" I looked at him. "Who told you?"

He shook his head, "No one told me anything. It was a joke."

I inhaled sharply. "It was a hell of a joke, Stefan."

He stepped closer, putting his hands on my shoulders. "I don't understand. What's wrong?"

I wanted to run away from him. Away from my feelings, really, but that's impossible. "You... You don't know?"

"Know what, Ev?"

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. It's getting harder to not cry about everything. I don't have the words to tell him, every word in the English language is nonexistent when it comes to him. I moved my hands to the sides of his face and stepped closer. I pressed my lips to his, kissing him. He squeezed my arms, tensing up. He relaxed slowly, leaning into the kiss.

I could feel adrenaline coursing through my body, urging me to be closer to him. If I keep going, I'll never stop. I pulled my head back and opened my eyes. I stared at him. When he opened his eyes, they found mine immediately.

I took a deep breath before closing my parted lips. His stare felt like the only thing holding me together. There was a stunned expression on his face. His thoughts slowly formed, morphing his expression into something deeper. His hands loosened from my arms. His gaze fell from mine as he stepped back from me.

I felt like I was being gutted. My heart shattered slowly. He looked hurt. He was staring at the ground, his arms at his sides and his shoulders squared. Regret hit me immediately. I choked on a sob. I swallowed it down.