Beginnings and Endings

Clean

Once again Alice woke up with a slight scream, "Hey, hey, you're ok, it's ok, they can't hurt you" Freddie had looked at her since he got home while she was still sleeping, the light from outside showed that it had to be almost around 9, maybe 9:30, the lights turned off but she could still make out Freddie sitting beside her

Alice felt as she was pulled into his chest, she didn't hug back but just sat there, curled up in a ball, not saying a single thing or not even crying "No one will hurt you again Alice, I promise" he spoke into her rubbing her arm gently and stroking her hair with his other hand

As dragged his hand up and down her arm he felt the thick cuts and the thin ines "Jesus..." he spoke softly, looking at her only to see her sleeping

The next morning Alice woke up and felt she was still in his arms, his head rested on hers, she moved her head to look at him as he lifted his up "How are you feeling?" he looked at her "Tired" she looked at her arms sadly "Hey, those scars don't make you any less beautiful, ok?" he gently lifted head up and looked at her the way any older brother who was proud of his sister for making it through a shitty life would "Ok" she nodded softly "Are you hungry?" he asked "A little" she sighed "Ok well, do you want waffles?" he stood up "Sure" her voice was quiet as she followed him down that stairs and to the kitchen

"There used to be burn marks, from the electric torture" She spoke in russian as she sat at the counter tracing the cuts as she looked at them with pain "Well, it's good they gone, proof they're healing. Don't hide them Alice, you can when we go out if you want, but they're a part of your story" he walked over to her after putting some mix into the waffle maker

"Why Freddie? The only role they play in my story is that I was a stupid child who ran away knowing I'd get tortured every time I came back as punishment "Hey! You are not stupid, you're so incredibly smart, and even if you have scars on you it doesn't mean you're any less beautiful, because you're so beautiful, every single bit of you is beautiful" he spoke as he got the waffle out and put more mix in it and walked back over to her

"Your eyes, your smile, everything, and I don't mean anything about your body, I couldn't care about that, because I'm your brother, and everyday I look at you having that pained look in your eyes it makes upset to think that you think you aren't good enough to be on this earth" he grabbed her hands

"You don't have to say that to make me feel better" she sighed "I'm not saying it to make you feel better, I'm saying it because it's true" he looked at her with a serious look "Look, we all have scars Al'" he sighed, rolling his sleeves up to reveal cigarette burns and small cuts that looked like they were done with a small blade

Alice looked at them "Freddie I-" she started with a deep breath "I know, stuff happens, people go through tough times" he grabbed her hands again "How about we make a deal ok? Any time you're forced to show them, I'll show mine ok? All the way until your scars are gone, or at least until they fade out"

"Ok" she nodded softly "Ok" he repeated with a smile as he got another waffle

"Can I ask you a question?" he looked at her as he finished the waffles "Yea" she grabbed a plate from the strainer and the syrup from the fridge "Are some of those self inflicted?" he walked over to her "Yea, it started after dad died" she drew a deep breath and a long sigh "Oh" he nodded softly "I'm trying not to do it anymore, it's been about a week and a half, maybe" she took a bite of her waffle

"I tried cleaning up his room, packing his stuff away to put into storage, while you were gone" she sat on the couch beside him "Yea, I saw some of the presents from the closet, sorted them, put mind in a separate pile and yours in one, some of mine were from my dad" he looked at her

"I couldn't do it Freddie, I just can't" her voice trembled "Because if I clean out his room, he won't- It'll be like he's really gone, and I don't want that, I can't- why did he have to die?!" she started to have tears blur her vision

"Hey, come here" he pulled her into his arms, holding her head against his chest "He shouldn't have died, it wasn't- it's not fair, it's not fair how HYDRA always finds ways to torture me!" she shouted, tears falling onto Freddie's shirt "I don't know Alice, I don't know" he sighed, gently speaking into her hair

"I just want him back, I had only just got him and he was take from me not even a year later" she sobbed "Shhh Shhh Shhh Shhh, it's ok, I get it" he looked down at her for a moment, dragging his fingers through her hair

A few hours later Alice walked into the bathroom after just waking up and brushed her hair "If you don't mind me asking" Freddie walked to the door "My gods! Don't do that!" she jumped slightly "Sorry, anyways, why purple?" he sat on the edge of the tub "Sorry?" she looked at him before grabbing the dry shampoo "Why do you dye it purple? I mean, I don't hate it, it's great, it suits you so well but" he looked at her

"It's....It's the first thing I did after I escaped HYDRA, Mama helped me with it, we talked about how she'd always be there if dad was ever out on a mission and I needed to talk to her about something" She smiled sadly "That's nice" he smiled "Yea, I do it to remind me that I have free will now, and because it makes me feel like me" she smiled and looked at him "That's good" he nodded