Come Back to Me

36

Vanessa waited patiently in the meeting room she had been sent to, ready to get this orientation over with and do what she needed to. Time was being wasted and she couldn't afford to wait anymore.

She hoped that her last message to everyone was enough to get the point across that she just needed to be left alone for a few days while she and Dead figured things out on their own; but she was almost certain Dead would pick up that something was going on. If he did, it wouldn't be long before he at least figured out that it had something to do with her just going back in general, not the whole story. If that were the case, she'd be dealing with yet another massive miscommunication yet again.

Twirling the pen in front of her around on the table, Vanessa let her mind wander to her sister and the rocky relationship with Euronymous. If they did somehow have a feeling something was off, would she resent her for taking away someone she cared about? Should she even be going back to save his old girlfriend now that he had moved on?

She shook her head. Even she knew that their relationship wasn't exactly healthy. Euronymous had never really let go of Vera, he moved into another relationship, but she could tell his heart was never really in it.

She jumped as the door opened and a familiar looking woman entered the room.

"Well, I didn't think I'd be seeing you again," Nix greeted her happily.

Vanessa couldn't hide the surprise on her face. "Nix? What are you doing here?"

Nix gave her a sideways smirk. "Honey, you're about to go breaking the ban on travel, did you think I wouldn't know about it? I've been keeping tabs on you since you came back, been a pretty rough ride, huh?"

"That would be an understatement. I thought I was doing the right thing but now it's like I just made it worse."

"I don't think it's so much the wrong thing, just the wrong time. See the difference? The thing is though, if you hadn't done things the way you did, you wouldn't know what to fix this time around. I know this stuff has been around a few decades, but believe me there are a lot of bugs that still haven't been worked out. Obviously major events were tried, and we saw where that would lead, so that gave us the cliché rule of no going back in time and killing a baby. It's a bit different with, for lack of a better word, people of less importance."

"What do you mean?"

Sitting down across from her, Nix began to explain. "Say someone goes back in time to kill said baby, won't name names but I'm sure you can guess, it would send our world in a completely different direction. In the case of your boyfriend, however, since the only thing he's really done is make music, it's much less catastrophic if someone goes back to kill or save him. Does that make sense?"

Vanessa wanted to argue that Dead was important, that nobody was any less important, but even she knew what Nix was trying to say.

"It does."

Nix smiled. "Good. Now, the flaw with it all like I said is the bugs. There's no real way to determine what will happen when someone goes back or how it will change things, however, we can learn from it and try again. The general rule before all this, like what you saw in movies, was that you shouldn't even touch a bug when going back in time. While that made sense at the time, we couldn't help but test the boundaries. We've had a few close calls, but so far, we've managed to avoid completely destroying ourselves. I know a lot of this probably doesn't make much sense, but that's why I'm here doing this orientation and not some halfwit."

"They told me that everyone would still partially remember what's already happened."

"Yes and no. The answer isn't as black and white as that. Sometimes, there are different outcomes. Sometimes people remember what happened, or at least think it was a vivid dream. If I'm being perfectly honest, I don't think telling you all the technicalities of the whole thing is really important. Are there some advantages of knowing the ins and outs of the operation? Of course there is. I think the important thing to remember here is that the outcome is what you need it to be."

"So, if it doesn't matter in the long run, why are you here?"

"While I don't really think the technical side of things is all that important, I think it's important that you understand what you're getting yourself into. First, let me ask you something. How long do you plan on staying in the past once you save this girl?"

"The whole time."

The answer, Vanessa realized, came too quickly. She could see the almost knowing smirk on Nix's face.

"I figured as much. In that case, here's what you need to know. You'll be leaving this time and creating a fixed point in time. When you come back, you'll be older, but your family will be as they are now. They'll be informed you're gone once you've gone back just so they can be ready for when you do come back to the present."

"So I'll still..."

"Be born? Absolutely. We get that question a lot in cases like this. The point you originally left will also remain the same. I know this is confusing which is why I'm trying to make this as easy to follow as I possibly can, but like I said earlier, it's not as black and white as we would like it to be."

Vanessa nodded. "I think I understand what you're saying. How is though that you guys keep all these records? I remember it getting mentioned a while back."

Nix smiled proudly. "Not many people think about that too much, I'm glad to see someone gave it some thought. Again, without getting too much into the technical aspect, the watch each person wears when they go back as well as the machine itself is equipped with a special program that records every bit of information and stores it away for later. This same program also has a special feature that essentially puts a time shield around it."

"You mean like something that keeps it from being altered? So, in a way, you can keep track of every timeline and change that was made?"

"Not just in a way, but the way. How else could we know the limits of something so advanced? We need to be able to analyze every mistake, victory, and anything in between. This way we can make modifications to the travel program itself and keep anything catastrophic from happening. And much like the baby death scenario I mentioned earlier, how do you think we know it can't be done?"

"Because someone tried it before."

"Exactly."

"Why are you helping me with this, Nix? You could get in serious trouble."

"Because I was a lot like you once. I wanted to change events in the name of love and get my happy ending. Unfortunately, that never got to happen."

"Why not?"

Nix paused for a minute. "You see the good in someone who has a chance, I saw the good in someone who couldn't change. Some things you can change, but one thing that's harder to change is someone's personality."

The saddened expression on her face warned Vanessa not to push the issue. She wasn't close to Nix, let alone entitled to any of her personal history.

As if reading her thoughts, Nix shook her head. "It's not that serious. I was in a relationship with someone that I thought was my soulmate. He had some serious drug problems and a lot of anger issues. I thought if I did things differently, he would change. It took me almost a decade to realize I was in love with who I wanted him to be."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We live and learn, and if I hadn't learned all that I wouldn't have met the real love of my life. It all works out in the end. Just make sure you're not in love with the idea of what this man could be."

Vanessa shook her head. "No. I do love him. I just want his story to be a little happier. He deserved a much better ending then he got."

"Which is exactly why I'm doing this. Now, are you ready to go? You're scheduled to leave in a couple hours and I'm sure Spencer and Roy have some last-minute things to give you."

Vanessa took a deep breath to steady herself. She had done this before, but she couldn't help but be just as nervous as the first time. Everything depended on this. Dead and Vera's survival, the future of Mayhem, even her life. She would be saying goodbye to everything she knew forever, all for one person. Still, the answer seemed obvious in her mind.

"I'm ready."