Come Back to Me

23 ~Present Day~

Hellhammer twirled one of his drumsticks, sitting in silence with the rest of the band, waiting for someone to break the silence. The tension around them had become so thick it was almost suffocating. No one knew what to even say. The weeks that had passed since Varg's murder had been a circus; paparazzi showing up everywhere they went, filming their every step and going so far as to wait outside their houses. The insanity had gotten so bad that Hellhammer had told Melanie to go stay with her parents back in Norway until they had a better handle on things. Thankfully the press didn't try to bother her there.

Necro was the first to speak. "Look, it has to blow over at some point. The man was a psycho!"

Hellhammer scoffed. "True, but in the eyes of a lot of people he was an innocent man. There's always a shit storm when things like this happen. Everyone is on different sides even when the evidence clearly shows that he got what was coming to him."

"So why are they still hounding us?"

Dead rolled his eyes. "They won't stop for a good while; especially with the court dates coming up. If anything, they're just getting started and the real shit storm has yet to come."

Necro slammed his fist down on the arm of the couch. "So what are we supposed to do? We can't just let them keep destroying our lives!"

"They aren't. If anything, consider it free publicity. Negative or positive, Mayhem's name is getting out there even more than before. Those who truly embrace the brutality of us won't care. We may even attract some new fans from it all."

"Jesus, Dead," muttered Hellhammer. "You killed someone, yes it was justified, but to look at it like that is messed up. We're talking about someone's life."

Dead glared over at him. "I'd gladly do it again."

The coldness in his voice sent a chill up the drummers back. The redness in Dead's eyes along with the dark circles under his eyes showed he hadn't been sleeping well, if he had been sleeping at all, and most likely crying to himself as he often did. Still, even Hellhammer knew better than to argue with Dead or get on his bad side.

"I didn't mean it like that," he defended. "Look, we're all exhausted, it's been a rough few weeks for everyone but we can't let that stop us from doing our job. We're going to be doing a show soon and we need to be ready. Euronymous, have you talked over any of the details with Fenriz?"

Euronymous nodded. "He said they'll be around sometime next week to rehearse. As for the show he said something about us being the second act and them being the last. Aside from that I don't really remember much else. I'm sure we'll figure it out next week."

Dead let out a low groan. "That's pretty helpful."

"Lay off!" Euronymous snapped back.

"Fuck you! You're supposed to know details about this shit! You're supposed to be the leader but I don't see you doing much in the way of leading."

Necro quickly stood up. "Alright, alright! Let's calm down before one of us says something they regret. We're all at our limit with everything and it's not about to get any easier. Why don't we all just take a step back, get some sleep, and talk about all this tomorrow afternoon?"

Dead closed his eyes, a long sigh escaping him. "Fine."

Dead tried to steady his breathing, knowing that there really was nothing he could do about any of this. There wasn't any point in getting mad at everyone else when he had no one to blame but himself.

We didn't have to kill him...

He flinched at the thought. Varg deserved to die for what he had done to Vanessa and their lives. He deserved to burn in hell...

That wasn't for us to decide. We are not above the law.

No, he wasn't above it and never would be. Yet time and time again the justice system failed hundreds of people. People who had done worse things than Varg were given a slap on the wrist or a sentence of just a few years at best. There was no real justice for the victims of a murder, those who had been taken from their birth families due to drugs and abuse were thrown into a system that could care less about them. He had even seen some children ripped away from decent families based on false claims. Justice had become a cruel joke. Those who swore to uphold it looked like clowns while those who took matters into their own hands were punished for doing what should have been done in the first place.

Just one big joke.

Whatever his punishment may be, he would face it with a smile on his face and with the satisfaction of knowing that someone like Varg wouldn't be around to hurt anyone else. That, in his opinion, was justice enough. He hoped that anyone who disagreed with what he had done would never be put in the same situation. He wouldn't hold their opinions against them, but would instead hold his head high and drown them out. After all, if they were in his place, would they not have done the same thing?

"It's going to get rough," Hellhammer continued. "We need to be ready to have each other's back. Dead, you're probably going to get most of the heat so it's important that you keep your cool. We don't need the damn press thinking you're some hot-headed psychopath. Tell Vanessa to stay in the house as much as possible, the last thing she needs are these idiots harassing her. If possible, see if her sister can stay with you guys for a while. This way she has someone on her side for when you aren't around."

"I'm not leaving her side again," Dead snarled.

"You can't be with her every second of the day," Necro cut in. "You have an obligation to the band too, we can't afford any more setbacks. I know you wanna keep her safe but you have to think realistically right now. Valerie might be able to help her through this."

"But..."

"No arguing!" Euronymous bit out. "I get it, there's a lot happening right now but you can't just keep her attached to your hip every second of the day."

"Shut the fuck up. None of this would even be happening if you had just grown a fucking backbone and told one of us what the asshole was planning!"

"Dead!" Necro bit out. "It's not his fault. We don't know what Varg said to him to keep him quiet. He tried to help her in the end so that should at least count for something."

Dead could only glare at the bassist, wanting to argue further, but knowing it was pointless. The damage had already been done and there was nothing he could do to change it. All they could do now was ride out the storm and hope for the best in the end.

"Fine," he managed to bite out. "I'll have Valerie stay with her when I can't, but I'm not going to be away from her anymore than I absolutely have to."

Hellhammer raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, Dead, we can work with that."

Necro let out a deep sigh. "We're about to go into the biggest shit storm we've ever seen, let's hope it ends sooner rather than later."