Come Back to Me

19

She wanted to stay angry, to ignore any signs of missing him, every part of her mind knew that what he had done was horrible; but there was a small part of her that wanted to push past all that and remember the person she had fallen in love with.

He hadn't been perfect, but he had always been there when she needed him. Even if it had been just him using and manipulating her the whole time, Jess couldn't ignore the feelings and energy she had put into their relationship all this time. She had never once felt like she had to be anything but herself, never had to pretend in order to gain his approval.

Throughout her life she had never known someone that had ever truly been there for her. Taken from her parents at fourteen then placed with an aunt and uncle that beat her regularly over the smallest things. She had tried her best to be the perfect child, perfect to near perfect grades on every report card, a clean house when they came home with hot food on the table that she had paid for once she had gotten her first job.

She had wanted to give all her love to those around, hoping desperately that maybe one day if she tried hard enough it would finally make them love her and see what they were missing. All those wasted years had left her feeling something worse than numbness. Numbness would have at least saved her from the endless hatred that filled her heart. At this point, even she had to admit there was next to nothing good about her.

Their shared house, when she finally found the courage to open the door, felt empty now. Everything around her held memories she held close to her heart, hours had been spent on the living room couch just being together watching something on the T.V. Trailing a hand across the back of the couch, she could faintly hear his voice in the back of her mind, calling her name.

Sitting herself down in his usual spot she stretched her legs out across the couch, laying down on the arm before a fresh wave of tears began to fall. There was nothing that could be done for her to miss him any less than she did. No matter what he had done or was going to do, it didn't change the fact that at one point in time she had loved him with all her heart. The man she thought she had known was gone, replaced by someone who was a complete stranger. What else had been going on? Were there other parts of his life she didn't know about? A million questions were going through her mind and none of them would ever have an answer. Their future together had been erased in a matter of minutes.

Nothing would have changed.

No, it wouldn't have. Even if she could go back to try and talk him out of it he had been too determined to get revenge. She had tried to understand his reasoning, but nothing could justify what he had done. It was supposed to be blackmail at the most, find something he could hold over Dead's head so he complied. No one was supposed to get hurt.

When did he start shutting me out?

Normally they would have talked about anything and everything, neither of them really went through with anything that the other didn't fully agree with. If he had been keeping this from her there was no telling just how much of their relationship had been built on lies, secrets, and deception.

Closing her eyes, Jess curled into a tighter ball hoping to finally get some sleep.

**bit of a baby update while I'm finishing up the next longer chapter, was just a small thought bubble that I wanted to share with you guys! Hope you enjoy.**