Feelings (Ruby Rose Fan Fiction) ON HOLD!!!

Chapter 06: Victoria

After my phone call with Ruby, I went to sleep. I had a doctors appointment tomorrow.

I woke up to the absolutely pleasant sound of my mother telling me I was going to be late. It was already 12. I literally jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I took a shower and left my hair damp so that it would dry in waves. I pulled on a printed crop top sweater, blue jeans and my Timberland boots. I ran downstairs and saw my mom waiting by the door with her keys.

It was about a ten minute drive to the hospital plus another 30 in the waiting room. Finally I got called in. They wouldn't tell me my weight or height, but I could just get that at home. After the nurse met with me, I waited for another 20 minutes before the doctor came back.

"So Victoria, how are you?" he asked. His name was Dr. Henson.

"I'm fine thank you," I said.

"So I have some news that you might not be too happy about hearing but we also need to run some tests to see your percentage."

"Okay?" I said.

"You have, as of right now, a 45% chance of getting over this," he said. I gasped. No. This couldn't be happening. I tried so hard.

"Now before you get upset, I want you to know that the only to fix this is if you do it yourself. You have to eat. When you first got diagnosed, you had a 60% chance of surviving and it's going down, meaning that it's getting worse," he said.

"That's not possible," I rejected. My mom seemed so upset sitting beside me. "I did everything you told me to. For five years. It's not my fault I can't eat to much otherwise I can't keep it down."

"Listen Victoria. That's the problem. You have to will yourself to keep it down," he said but before he could say anything else, I stormed out of the room, pulling my mother with me.

Tears started streaming down my face. The car ride home was silent. As soon as we pulled up, I jumped out of the car and I ran into the house. My mom didn't follow me as she knew to just leave me alone for the moment. I sat on my bed and I cried. I cried and cried until I had a headache and I couldn't see anymore. I had tried so hard to get better but it got the best of me. I tried so hard to get rid of it but it just wasn't working. Why did this have to happen to me.

I stood up and reached into my nightstand drawer and grabbed a pair of scissors. I sat on my bed and rolled up the sleeve on my left arm. I opened the scissors as I felt my tears fall on my arm.

I couldn't do this. I would only be being selfish. What about Mum? Ruby? June? Bri? What about school? I only had a week left even though I'm home schooled. I placed the scissors beside my bed and picked up the letter containing everything that the doctors had said to me and more and I read over it. That was a bad idea for it only caused me to cry again. I cried so hard I thought I wasn't going to get through it.

I slid off my bed, landing on the floor as I continued to cry. The CCDA was sure to kick me out if they found out. I cried even more. The headache I had now was wise than any hangover I've ever had. Why was this happening to me?

I was crying so hard, so that you would have thought I cried myself to sleep, but I just couldn't. As the effect of my emotions, I stood up and began to get furious.

I opened all my drawers and ripped random pieces of clothing. I'm sure I broke a few pictures, and ripped a few posters but when I was done with my outrage, I looked around. A ping made its way into my heart.

If felt like someone was stabbing my. I grasped my chest as I fell back into my original seat on the floor and I cried even more.

I noticed a hug gash on my arm. Probably from broken glass. It was bleeding terribly. I instantly grabbed the scissors off my bed. I opened the blade again and without thinking, I dug it into the pre-made cut. The physical burn was enough to distract me from the emotional pain I was feeling.