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Taraji's POV
Tasia rubbed my back in soothing circles and Tempest held my hand as I watched the Channel 3 news report on Brandee's senseless and shocking murder. Her apartment was broken into and her throat was slit from ear to ear. My vision was becoming blurry from the tears streaming down my face, but I couldn't tear myself away from the tv screen. The picture that they displayed of her was so beautiful. She was a beautiful person. It probably would have been impossible for them to find a bad picture of her. She was flawless inside and out. She didn't deserve to die like that. She dedicated her entire life to helping people and making them feel better. All I can think about is how scared she must have been, how hard she must have fought. Something bad is always happening. It's like pain is addicting to inhabiting me. I can't escape it. I suddenly pushed Fantasia and Tempest away from me and I began to pace the floor back and forth in front of the tv.
Fantasia: Baby-
Taraji: She didn't deserve that. She never did anything to anybody! Who would want to hurt her? She was the sweetest girl. This shit is never going to end, is it? Am I gonna die next? What's the point in me living if fucked up shit keeps happening to me?
Fantasia: Taraji, baby you're spiraling.
I jerked Fantasia off of me when she tried to touch my shoulder. I span around to face her, pointing my finger in her face as tears raced down my chin. She remained standing in place, letting me take out all of my aggression and hurt on her. I didn't want to project my pain onto her, but in the moment it was the only thing I could think of to do in order to cope. It's like my entire life is cursed. I don't know who killed Brandee or why, but I feel like she would still be alive right now if she would have never met me. Everything I touch turns to ruin. Everybody's life would be so much easier if I was dead. It should have been me, not Brandee.
Taraji: No shit, Fantasia! You're damn right I'm fucking spiraling! My friend was fucking killed and I can't do shit about it! Do you have any idea how much love I had for that girl?!
Fantasia: I know that you had love for her, but you love ME, so you need to direct your anger and hurt away from me before you say or do something that will make me question that. I am not your enemy. I'm sorry that Brandee is gone because I was starting to build a friendship with her, too, but lashing out at me won't bring her back and it won't take your grief away.
Taraji: I'm so tired.
Fantasia: I know baby.
I dropped my head down on her shoulder, crying harder than I've cried in a long time as my entire body shook with emotion. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me like she was afraid I would disperse into thin air. I was crying so hard that I almost couldn't breathe. I felt some tears hit my skin, and I knew that it was Fantasia. It must be really bothering her to see me so torn up, and there's really nothing she can do to relieve my pain. She just has to let me go through it, and I know that it's killing her. Her voice broke when she spoke to me.
