The Act|| Tarasia

Chapter Twenty

Taraji's POV

I watched the clouds roll by as I laid my head against the window of Oprah's private jet, my AirPods playing lowly in my ears. It was supposed to storm today, but my dad cleared the skies just so that we could have safe, smooth travels. Everyone else were sleeping, playing Uno, or having conversations amongst themselves and whoever were closest to them on their row. I sat all alone in the back, soaking up the solitude. I don't want everyone to think that I'm a diva or that my energy is off. I've been getting crazy texts from Kelvin all day, and with the state that my mental health is in right now, I just think it's best I keep my distance until I start feeling more like myself again. Even when I blocked him again and again, he still found a way to access me. He's been saying off the wall shit like threatening to shoot the plane out of the sky or showing up to Atlanta and kidnapping me. Part of me knows that he's being 100 percent serious, and the other part of me just doesn't have the energy to care.

I felt a shift in the energy and I realized that someone had taken the seat next to me. It was Danielle. As much as it comforts me to have her around, she's the last person I want to see right now. While half of my night was spent constantly blocking Kelvin and reporting his number, the other was spent thinking about Danielle and my sudden, unexplainable attachment to her. I don't know where it came from or how I will get rid of it. Her husband is literally right up front holding their baby girl in his lap. She has a beautiful family and I would never dream of tearing them apart. It's just a little girl crush. I don't know when I'm finally going to be happy with being alone. I always find myself latching onto someone. It started with Tasia and now it's happening with Dani. I'm supposed to sit down with the both of them when we touch down in the A, and I just don't know how I'm going get through it.

Danielle: Hey, why are you back here all by yourself? You should come up front with the rest of us. We're playing a game guessing what Ciara might name her baby. For every wrong guess you have to take a shot. Come play with us.

Taraji: I'm ok. I just want to look at the sky and enjoy my music.

Danielle: What are you listening to?

Taraji: Bittersweet.

Danielle:*sighs* You're torturing yourself, and for what? I'm starting to think that whatever happened between you and Fantasia is deeper than a fight between friends.

Taraji: What else would it be?

I already knew what she was thinking, but I also knew that she wasn't going to say it out loud. Dani is brutally honest and doesn't tend to bite her tongue for anyone, but at the same time she's careful with what she says and who she says it around. If the wrong person were to hear what I know is on her mind, it could create a huge mess for me and Fantasia.

Taraji: Go back to your seat, Dani. I'm fine.

Danielle: You're not, but I'll leave you alone. This is the last time you brush me off. I love you, ok?

Taraji: Yeah, love you too.

She kissed the top of my head before going back to her seat up at the front. I sighed and laid my head back down, turning my music up louder.

Cause when I think about you
It's bittersweet
It's bittersweet
Yes I'll always love you

I closed my eyes, hoping that the flight would be over by time I opened them again. What seemed like hours later, I felt a hand harshly gripping my thigh. I fluttered my eyes open, but I had to blink them a few times because I thought that I was seeing things. How and when the hell did Kelvin get on the jet? Before I could scream or make a sound, he covered my mouth with his hand. It was dark inside, like the electricity had been tampered with. The only other person on the plane was Fantasia. Where did everybody else go? I bit Kelvin's hand, making him grunt in pain. He slapped me across my face and grabbed me, throwing me out of my seat and onto the aisle floor. I crawled on my hands and knees, trying to get to the front.

Taraji: Tasia! Tasia, help me! Fantasia help me!

She turned her head, looked me in the eye, and turned back around as if nothing was happening. Kelvin grabbed my ankle, pulling me back. My nails tore the carpet up as he dragged me. He flipped me over so that I was on my back and he got on top of me, wrapping his hands around my throat. Suddenly, Fantasia was standing over me. I stared up at her, kicking my feet as oxygen escaped me again and again. My eyes bulged to the point that I thought they were going to pop out of my head. Kelvin bared his teeth, squeezing my neck so hard that it felt like my windpipe was cracking. Tears streamed down my face as Fantasia looked down on me.

Fantasia: When I tried to be there for you before, you didn't want me around. You'll never get to hurt me again.

She pulled a gun out of her back pocket, aiming it at my forehead. She pulled the trigger and-

I woke up with a start, screaming at the top of my lungs. Everybody at the front turned around to look at me, their wide eyes staring through me with concern and confusion.

Halle: Are you ok, Taraji?

Taraji: Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't know that I fell asleep . I guess I had a bad dream. Excuse me.

I got up and went to the bathroom, wanting to escape their eyes. My entire body was shaking and tears were in my eyes. I slid my back down the door, crying into my hands. My life is a fucking mess right now. Nothing can help me- not a therapist, not my antidepressants. I don't know what I need to feel ok, and it feels like I'll be searching for it for the rest of my life because I don't even know where to start looking. Someone knocked on the door. I quickly wiped my tears, standing up to my feet and dusting my clothes off. I tossed my hair a little bit and splashed some water on my face, trying to make it look like I wasn't on the verge of a mental breakdown just seconds ago. A feather-soft, raspy voice spoke through the door.

Fantasia: Raj, are you really ok? You don't have to let me in, I just want to know that you're good.

Taraji: Stay away from me!

Fantasia: This door will stay between us, don't worry. I'm not going to invade your space. I just want to hear from your mouth that you're fine.

Taraji: What would you do if I said that I'm not fine?

Fantasia: What would you want me to do?

Taraji: Make everything fine.

I slowly opened the door, my eyes instantly locking with hers once they made contact. I pulled her inside and she threw her arms around me, holding me tight. We stroked each other's hair as we cried together.

Fantasia: I missed you so damn much, T.

Taraji: Not as much as I missed you.

We still have a lot to talk about in our sit down with Danielle, but for now I just want to feel her touch and smell her perfume. This is the Fantasia that I missed. Whether she remains this way is a story that only time can write.