Finding the Missing Piece: Book 4

Chapter Fifty-Three

"Was I your very first kiss?" I ask him curiously.

I know I've been his first and only girlfriend, but that doesn't mean he hasn't kissed anyone other than me.

"Yes." Peeta admits.

I think that makes me happier, knowing that my lips are the only one he knows and vice versa.

"I still think that if those stupid ovens hadn't gone off that time, we would've kissed then and it would've saved us a lot of heartbreak." He explains and I couldn't agree more.

I know for a fact that was the night I knew I had fallen for him.

I just didn't know how or what that meant really but I felt something.

"The next day, we went to the rock pit and road horses and had our first date in that restaurant, after you asked me out." I say remembering.

That was one of the best days of my life.

"Those were pretty good times." He says, I can tell he's distant though.

It's as he wishes we could relive those days.

Sometimes, I do too.

"It seemed pretty good until we graduated." I admit.

Peeta sighs, "I think it's always been decent, when we had each other and when we weren't dealing with each other's family's deaths, mostly."

"Or when we were sick or hurt." I add in.

"Or fighting about babies." He exclaims.

I sigh deeply when he says this.

"I should've agreed a long time ago. We could've already had her here and maybe you wouldn't be so down all the time. It would've saved us both a lot of hurt, maybe all three of us."

"I shouldn't have asked as much as I did but I still think that if it hadn't had just happened, I don't know. Never mind." Peeta says.

"Tell me." I push.

"I don't even know what I'm saying or thinking, honestly." He says, sounding so confused.

I sigh, "But when I wanted to get pregnant before, it was to make you happier, I'm not going to lie but it was also because I spent so long hating the idea that when you decided you did to, I wanted it. Like we just couldn't be on the same page, I couldn't allow it."

He sighs, laughing, "Okay."

"I'm not meaning to sound horrible and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings a lot but I am glad I am pregnant now. I really really am." I tell him.

"Me too."

I shrug, "Are you mad at me for trying to get pregnant so that you would forget how sad you are?" I ask him shakily.

"No."

I bite my lip, "I tried to hide how happy I was because I knew I couldn't just tell you I was pregnant and everything would be okay again because that's obviously the case but I couldn't contain it because I was and still am so excited."

I can tell he's smiling a little now.

"I'm glad you are excited. I'm not mad that you're excited because I did the same thing. I thought that if I pushed back everything because you got pregnant, then it would all just go away and be good again but that wasn't the case. I think it made it worse but I also didn't want to act like I wasn't excited because I was and I still am." He says, jumbling his words together.

I know exactly what he's telling me though.

"I guess either way we were wrong." I shrug.

"I don't know. I still don't know but I just think if it doesn't get better soon, there is no telling what I'm going to do." Peeta says.

"I don't know either but I need you to be honest with me when I ask you this." I start and he nods.

"I think we can wait about three more months. Once she's here, I think we will both be a lot happier. Do you think that's true?"

He doesn't say anything for a long time then he lets out a croak, "Yeah, I think it'll be right up there with our wedding day."

"You lost count of your favorite days a long time ago."

He chuckles a little, "It's because I have so many, like everyday."

I chuckle a little sleepily, "Not everyday."

"No." He agreed with a sigh.

"I just know that once we see her, she's going to steal both of our hearts and we will be truly happy again." I tell him.

"I just wish sometimes, we could flash back to high school. To the first year or two we dated. It's not that I don't like anything we've done but it just seemed a little more carefree then."

"Yeah, but if it says anything we still try to act like it is and it's not. We're adults and we have been for a while." I say.

"And we are going to be parents."

I love that.

Peeta and I are going to be someone's parents.

We get to parent together and I think that's probably the coolest thing ever.

"When we met three years ago, I never imagined that you'd be carrying my child." Peeta says.

"I think it's strange how we went from strangers to best friends in just a couple of days and how we went from best friends to lovers and still are. I think it's cool that we are going to be parents too. I don't know how to explain it." I tell him but I know that he understands me.

If there's one thing Peeta and I understand about each other it's the 'I don't knows' because if one of us doesn't know, the other usually does.