Thy Will, Not Mine

Chapter {47} Destiny

I went back to the task at hand and opened the door, dropping my bag on the floor as soon as I set foot into the house and pausing to take off my shoes and receiving momentary satisfaction from the adequate blood flow to my legs without the restriction of tight tekkies.

I dumbed the beautiful flowers on the kitchen counter before ambling to my bedroom and being out as quick as a light as soon as my head hit the pillow.

*****

"Ooh la la, whose flowers are these? They are so gorgeous, " my moment of slumber was interrupted by Thato's voice.

"I don't know, perhaps your sisters?" my mom answered and that's when I opened my eyes to find that it was dark outside, meaning that I had slept through the entire afternoon.

I slowly and sluggishly woke up with a yawn, stretching my sore limbs before freshening up and doing my night routine for some good skin.

I walked to the source of the noise as my mom and Thato continued poking and probing about the tulips. What was the big fuss about? Did they not belong to either of them?

"Goeienaand," I greeted in Afrikaans, one of the languages we loved to add to our conversations.

"Ndi madekwana," my mom greeted in Tshivenda, my home language.

"Evening, Miss Doctor," Thato said wiggling her eyebrows, making me look at her in confusion. Why was she doing that?

I grabbed a glass and filled it with some water and began drinking it, quenching my thirst.

"Why did you not tell me that you had a boyfriend?"

And just like that the water flew out of my mouth and I started chowing so much that I had to put the glass back into the sink as my mom worriedly rubbed my back.

That word brought bile to my throat and I quickly ran to the bathroom to vomit it all out as memories of everything that had happened all those years ago.

"Des? What's wrong?" Thato worriedly called out to me.

But all I could think about were all those painful memories that I would much rather leave in the past but each night, I saw what I could've had. Had *he* not done what he had done.

I was deeply scarred even after so many years. It was a wound that simply refused to heal. But each day, it grew smaller and smaller through Christ. Now, I understood why I was people who said time never healed. Christ is the one true healer.

I shook my head and brushed my teeth, removing the foul taste in my mouth. Forceively pushing the thoughts to the back of my head as I looked at the mirror above me, I was almost a shadow of who I used to be. The light in my eyes had been dimmed, and my smile no longer shone as much but I pushed through even now as my eyes watered, and my heart pleaded with the Lord to heal my broken heart and help me move on.

The Holy Spirit reminded me that, Isaiah 59:1 said "Look, the Lord's hand is not too weak to deliver you; his ear is not too deaf to hear you."

I wiped my tears and knew that my Lord would heal me in due time. And I would look back and see that it was all for His glory.

I left the bathroom, walking back into the sitting room where I found my mother and Thato sitting, hushly whispering, "Do you know what could've gone wrong? As soon as you mentioned the word boyfriend, she seems to get into a 'fight or flight' mode." My mom asked Thato as she worriedly looked at her.

"I'm fine Mom," I announced my arrival and they both stood up looking at me carefully.

"Then why did you react the way I did?" asked Thato.

"I said I'm fine," I reiterated as kindly as I could.

"Okay. I just saw some of the flowers, remembered that you absolutely loved tulips and peeked into the note and noticed that it was addressed to 'My Love D.M' your initials."

What?

"Give me the note," I demanded as Thato tentatively handed it over.

My Love D.M

I love you

~ N

No, it couldn't be. How could this be true? I told him not to come after me and just as I thought about that the doorbell rang and I offered to open it, the letter still in hand.

As soon as I opened it, I was flabbergasted, the last person I could've ever imagined to be in my life was standing before me.

The note fell out of my hands.