A Missed Opportunity

47

Two beats go by before I blink and realize I actually need to respond. "What if I hadn't come down?"

He seems to debate on answering me, staying quiet for a few seconds. "Then I guess I wouldn't have seen you." He decides, for some reason keeping his other answer to himself.

He said we could pretend like it never happened if I never came down, but I can't stop myself from  wondering how true that would've been. I can't stop thinking about him standing out here for far too long while I cower in the safety of my apartment.

His head tilts slightly and his smile softens. "Please stop looking at me like I'm your kidnapper." His gentle laugh makes me want to smile and frown at the same time. "Don't feel like you have to be here. You can go back inside, Kiara."

"No, I don't want to." I assure quick, reaching out to touch his arm even though he doesn't step away from me. "I just...I'm scared." I whisper.

"Of me?" His voice lowers to match mine.

"A little." Then shake my head when I realize that's not all. "It's complicated. I'm not afraid of you, I'm..."

"I'm scared too."

I shouldn't be as relived by that as I am. "You are?"

He smiles. "Yeah." He confirms. "Yeah—I mean...Shit, Kiara." He chuckles and looks down at the ground while he shifts on his feet. "I've kinda put myself in the danger zone over here. You said no, like, every other time I asked. I know how much you don't really want to be here right now."

I deflate a little. "I'm sorry. That's not a good feeling."

"No." He laughs despite his answer.

"I'm not trying to...hurt you." I slowly assure, unsure of how much that even means to him.

"You're just trying to protect yourself." He finishes with a short nod. "I know. I get it. It's okay, Kiara. I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one who's scared."

I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "I want to be here." It's awful that he thinks I don't, but I haven't done anything to make him think otherwise.

"Me too." He agrees. "So," His smile starts to widen as he offers those flowers to me. I start to smile as I reach out to slowly accept them. "Come on." He's gentle as he beckons me over to his car. I walk with him, pausing when he opens the passenger door for me. Quietly, I thank him and hug my pretty flowers to my chest while I climb in.

My eyes never leave him as I watch him round the front of the car through the windshield. I'm quick to look down at my flowers in my lap when he opens the driver's side door now that he can see me, but even then my gaze drifts back over to him while he starts the car.

"You still haven't told Aaliyah, have you?"

He freezes completely for a good few seconds. When he looks at me, his smile widens impossibly."No." He confirms. I shake my head with a scoff, but his wide smile makes me smile too. "She'll be fine." He decides on an overconfident hum as he starts the car.

"Will she?" I'm not even totally convinced our son will be fine. Noah sure as hell thinks so, but it's all been so much on him. That's why he's acting out in school so much. He was never terrific in school behavior wise, but he's never been called to the office before.