A Heartstopper Fanfic

Chapter 54: 7:00 am

"Thank you." I say, whispering, "You must be exhausted."

"Mmmhm. Honestly, I don't know how I survived the drive here."

We both chuckle even though that's really not funny.

"Jesus-"

"You sure are loving that word today, Char."

I ignore that comment of his, instead wordlessly melting into my fiancé as he plays with my hair.

"Why'd you leave your mum's house so early?"

Silence..and then I feel his grasp on me loosen, his breathing slowly evening out. Eventually, Nick is fast asleep.

Some more sleep never hurt anybody.

Besides, it is the weekend now.

____________________

(Nick's POV)

   7:00 in the morning on the dot. That timestamp is ingrained in my mind. The PR team had made a point to make sure of that. The interview that we had prerecorded way before daylight even the chance to break would be published at that time. Was. From that point on, for likely the whole day, the public will respond.

Maybe even for days from now.

Just that thought alone brings on a nasty splitting headache. One that relentlessly urges my stomach to lurch- but I could no longer handle staying silent. Biting my tongue was beginning to feel like I was punishing myself. Why sentence myself to torture when I did nothing wrong? Where's the sense in that?

I had gone straight from the studio trembling with adrenaline, feeling an unshakable sense of uneasiness, to pushing the speed limit in order to be home with Charlie. Only with him could my nervous system once again gain control of itself. Though, I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't nervous. Now awake, knowing that the wrath of the world awaits me when I turn on the tv, or my phone, has me fucking anxious as hell.

I've run out of nails to bite.

Honestly, I can't help but wonder, "What the fuck have I done?!"

And then yet another thought crosses my mind, "Where has that confidence and fire from this morning gone?"

"Char." I croak rather loudly.

Charlie, who had been trying to contain his wild locks, looks at me from the reflection in our bathroom mirror. Meanwhile, I'm standing behind him, feet planted on the cold tile. I'm finding it difficult to do the same as him. Get my day started.

Perhaps ignorance is bliss.

"Talk to me." He says as he turns on his heel in order to properly face me, "or your face will."

  I've always struggled to conceal my emotions and inner thoughts. They have always seemed to manifest themselves in my face.

I can't help that I constantly wear my heart on my sleeve.

Now cupping my face, my fiancé proceeds to speak, "A worry line is forming between your eyebrows." Charlie pauses, kissing that exact spot on my face. For a second, that crease disappears.

"I just got so..so fed up," I explain, rubbing my chest as if that'll expel the anxiety. Charlie doesn't say a word. He doesn't need to. Silently, he replaces my hand with his, pressing it to my chest, guiding me to breathe with him. "And I don't get why, if I'm so tired of all of this, I'm still scared. Why do I-no- how do I still care about what complete strangers have to say when I'm so sick of it?"