as conor and i drive home he holds my hand. he knows im sad about matt leaving. tears silently stream down my face as he drives us back to my place, rubbing my hand with his thumb.
"are you ready to go in?" he asks turning to me after parking the car. i nod in response. then i look back at him
"spend the night with me connie?" i ask
"of course em. can we run back to my place quick and grab some stuff though?" he asks
"yeah for sure." i reply smiling and kissing him. we drive back to conor's and i wait in the car while he goes to get his things. he comes back down with a smile. grinning ear to ear. we go back to my place. we throw in a freezer pizza and watch some breaking bad on the couch together.
"i'm gonna change" i announce, getting out of our cuddle and going to my room, conor watched me walk away then goes on his phone. i change into some sleep shorts and a big shirt. i have a red lace set on under. just incase. i walk back out to the living room and conor's head watches me walk to him. i sit on his lap, straddling him. his hands wrap around my waist and pull me close.
"your so gorgeous." he tells me. i smile in response and start kissing him. meaningful, passionate, our tongues explore each others mouths. he smiles into our kiss and deepens it. i feel my core begin to wetten, i feel him begin to grow hard beneath me.
"con-" i start, but he continues kissing me. he is hungry, looking for something. i begin to push myself onto him. gaining friction, his mouth opens in awe and pleasure.
"connie" I say stopping what we're doing "have you ever?" i ask
"yeah, twice in high school." he tells me, trying to find how i feel about it in my eyes. "have you?" he asks
"no. i almost did once but he wasn't the right guy." i tell him
"am i the right guy?" he asks
"i think so." i reply smiling
"look we don't have to" he says quickly, setting my down behind him and standing up- walking to the kitchen. i'm taken aback. i begin feeling insecure, he dosent say anything.
"look i just- i don't want to make you do anything." he says
i nod in repliance and walk up behind him.
"conor, i really like you. a lot. and i'm proud of you, i get excited watching you play and i get excited when my phone buzzes. i always hope it'll be a text from you. being with you is one of the best feelings i've ever experienced before." i tell him
"i can't even begin to tell you what you mean to me. but i want you to know i don't expect anything sexual from you. being around you is fulfilling." he replies, holding onto my waist. i hug him and say
"can we go to bed?"
"of course sweet girl." he replies
we walk to my bathroom and both brush our teeth, we cuddle in bed for a while. i need him.
i turn to him with pleading eyes
"help please." is all i need to say for him to pull my pants down.
"your sure" he confirms
"please connie" i reply
he finishes pulling my pants down and begins pumping his fingers into me. my mouth opens and small moans escape my mouth.
"i want you" i confess to him, he considers it and nods.
"ok" he says and he removes his fingers from me. "are you on birth control? do you have condoms?" he asks
"yes i am, and i do have some. nightstand drawer" i reply. he's wearing sleep pants and underwear, now all i have left on is my big shirt and red bra.
i help him pull off his pants then he takes off my shirt. he admires me before taking off my bra. he takes off his underwear and i am taken aback. he's bigger than i thought. atleast 7 inches, maybe 8.
i look up to him and he's smiling, he begins kissing me, i stroke him a couple times. his head is thrown back by pleasure.
"get the condoms please" i say short breathed. he nods and reaches over to my nightstand drawer, he opens the wrapper with his teeth and rolls it on.
"your 100% sure?" he confirms
"yes. please" i reply.
"if you ever want to stop, or if it hurts tell me. i won't be mad." he says
we kiss for a while longer before he pushes into me. he waits for a moment to let me adjust. my arms hold onto his shoulders. it hurts but a good hurt. my eyes shut fast.
"is this ok?" he asks hushed
"mhm" i let out
"can i move?"
"just- a second please." i say opening my eyes again. i nod when im ready and he begins moving, the room quickly becomes filled with moans and love. he continues pounding into me, soon my legs wrap around his waist naturally, he starts hitting my g spot. our moans fill the room and i grab my bedsheets, holding on. he's making direct eye contact with me while we fuck, i can't always hold it. my eyes rolling around with pleasure.
"con-" i say before he nods and pushing his thumb down onto my clit, making me finish explosively. he finishes not long after me and cleans is both up.
"connie?" i say after he puts one of his shirts over my head
"yeah?" he replies
"i'm really glad my first time was with you" i admit blushing. he hugs me and kisses me cheek
"me too."
we drift off to sleep entangled with each other, his soft breath fanning my neck.
———
A/N
so sorry about my lil writing slump. i got halfway through this chapter and didn't know how to continue... haha! well i hope everyone had a good long wknd and is doing well. i love you all and stay safe.
