Red Ruse

Chapter Seventeen

Mare

The other newbloods stare in Training, sharpening their eyes on the wheatstone of my failures. Gwendolyn is cheerful as ever, picking up Lupa and ruffling her hair. Her arms ripple with muscle as she sets her down, grinning like a fire has scorched her enemies to ashes. I don't trust her. I can't. Yet I have no other options, Anabel long faded to dust on the wind.

I clench my fist. It doesn't matter. I won't let it.

None of it will matter when I am queen.

The thought startles me, moreso when Lupa glances my direction. She heard. She must've. My thoughts are dangerous enough in my head: I can't let them run in the open. Still, I step towards her, shaking, a message to the Newbloods who keep looking my way. I am not afraid. You shouldn't be either.

Her eyes are downcast as I approach, fingers fiddling with her sheer white ribbon. She dresses plainer than anyone else at court, so fixated on splendor they dwarf those merely fine. "I'm sorry."

I jolt.

"I got you in trouble, didn't I? At the Lerolan estate." She bites her lip. "I was so excited, I didn't mean–"

My words are matter of fact. "You asked your mom to help me."

She freezes, then nods. "Family is very important to me. To you. To all of us." Her voice is shaky, uncertain. "His name is Shade, right?"

"Antoine."

"Right." She closes her eyes. "That's the name he gave."

"The name you verified."

"I miss my dad." Her eyes flutter, squeezing shut. For once, my head doesn't pound when she's near, still as a butterfly settling on a leaf. "You miss him."

I don't respond.

"You love him."

"Quiet," I hiss. Maven lurks in every corner of my vision, so close to swallowing me whole. "Do you not understand what a secret is?"

That shuts her up. She goes back to picking at her ribbon, staring into the distance. "That girl." She points to the Newbloods, one of whom has begun to shout incoherently. "I can't read her."

"Of course you can't." I huff, raking a hand through my hair. The gray ends remain, no matter how Maven urges me to chop them off. "She's like an Arven. Stronger, even."

She nods, eyes flickering to mine. "I heard her talking, earlier. She wanted to leave, to find someone left behind."

I sigh. "Don't we all?"

Lupa sharpens. "You should help her."

My bottom lip tears in my teeth. "I should do a lot of things." I turn around. "You're Silver, Merandus. You don't know this fight like I do."

"I–" Her mouth shuts. "You might want to rethink that."

I look up, glancing at the Newbloods, two groups huddled on opposite sides of the room. Both are staring. Only one is friendly.

I swallow. "Hello."

No one responds, still whispering amongst themselves. I catch the words queen and traitor, ice sinking into my veins. Finally, Ada pokes her head out, smiling. "Hello, my dear."

On the other side of the room, Nix prowls, marching towards us with other Newbloods in tow. He snarls at me, teeth bared. "Could you explain what exactly you're aiming for?"

Lupa pokes her head from behind me. "Not being scary?"

For once, I'm grateful she's there, as all his rage fixes past me to her. She shrinks, gripping my sleeve. "I'm sorry."