Echoes of Our Rebellious Youth (All Time Low fanfiction | Alex Gaskarth)

Chapter 3: Pure Comfort, Pure Friendship

Mickey's POV:

Alex and I are at some roadside diner having breakfast. After spending a night at a motel and driving off early in the morning, we eventually decided that we had to get something to eat. So, we ended up in a booth, Alex with a plate of chicken and waffles, and me with a simple plate of pancakes. Alex is more than happy to devour his food, while I can't get much further than half of my three pancakes.

I see Alex glance at them – almost longingly – after he's finished eating for a while and I'm stalling by drinking my orange juice instead.

"Do you want them?" I ask and gently push the plate in his direction.

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he shakes his head, but his eyes say otherwise. "No, I don't want to steal your food."

"I'm not going to finish them," I shrug and leave the plate in the middle of the table.

He grins a little and sneakily uses a finger to bring the plate closer to himself, pushing his empty one to the side. "Well, then it would be a waste not to."

I continue to sip at my tall glass of orange juice and just observe him as he eats. He's wearing a black t-shirt that shows off his arms, giving me a full view of his forearm as he cuts into the pancakes. It isn't the first time I've spotted it, but of course I can recognise the skeleton tattoo. He always told me he was going to get it done, but I wasn't around to witness it. For some reason, his single tattoo seems so much more significant than the many scattered around my body.

I wonder why he even decided to give it a permanent place on his body. And in such a visible spot. I drew the thing as a gift for him, playing on his love for Halloween. But he must have gotten it sometime after we last hooked up when I was still in college, and I'm left to question why.

"What?" Alex asks with his mouth full of food when he feels my stare.

I break my gaze away and turn it to the glass in my hands. "Nothing."

He notices what I've been looking at. "Oh." He turns his arm and stretches it out towards me so I can get a better view. "Cool, right?"

I let myself look at it again, admiring that the tattoo artist kept true to the sketch. "Yeah."

"I wondered for a while whether I should get it or not," he elaborates, stuffing another piece of pancake into his mouth. "But I still really liked it. And it only reminded me of good times – up until you broke my heart, of course."

My eyes immediately snap up towards his face – he looks so nonchalant. I remember the events a little different, with himbreaking my heart multiple times. First with his selfish secrets, then with his inconsiderate actions after our prom, and finally by roping me along for seven more months every time he had a day home from tour. I was the one who broke up with him, but it wasn't for no reason.

"Sorry, that was uncalled for." He flicks his head to dismiss his comment, making the beanie on his head shift a little. He reaches up to readjust it, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he does so.

I don't respond. There's nothing to say back. It isn't worth fighting. He has his own view on the narrative, and it's an impossible task to challenge that.

"You know," he easily changes the subject as if he didn't just drop a bomb, "Rian's really excited for you to come live with us."

I smile at the thought of Rian, remembering the unlikely friendship we had forged despite being polar opposites. "It will be nice to see him again too."

Once Alex has finished my leftovers, he pays and we're on our way again. This time, it's my turn to drive. To be able to do the drive in two days, we have to work in shifts, or else it will be unhealthy. Alex drove the first three hours, after breakfast it was my turn, and he'll finish the last four.

It's a long time to spend in a car with your ex – the only guy you've ever truly loved and were too stubborn to say it back to. I have many regrets in my life, and that's in the top three. Who knew what would have happened between us if I had just been able to say those words back on my bedroom floor?

Back then, I thought we were so different. I thought he was crazy for being in love – insane for it. I had fully convinced myself that we were just some high school fling. Probably to protect myself. I was so afraid of being hurt that I didn't let myself feel. In the end, I still ended up being hurt. Hurt in more ways than I can count on one hand.

We arrive at Alex and Rian's house late at night. There are still lights on inside the cream-coloured house with a large front yard. I can't help but be amazed. It's in a different neighbourhood than any of us grew up in, but it's an actual proper house. To be fair, I used to live in one that looked just as perfect – white picket fence, a welcoming doormat, flowers on the porch. But I know what loomed behind closed doors there.

Alex parks the car in the driveway and we collect all our belongings to bring inside. He has his backpack on his back and is carrying two of my moving boxes. I take the remaining box and suitcase, cautiously following him to the front door. As he attempts to get the key into the lock, my chest starts to feel heavy. Moving here is no longer an idea. It's a reality.

Alex manages to get the door open and leads us inside. I hesitate at the threshold, unsure if I'm ready to make the step. But there's nowhere to turn back to. So I push the feelings away and step inside, expecting something to feel different. But it doesn't. It just feels normal. There isn't an impending fear waiting to crush me. Instead, I come face to face with a beaming Rian.

"Do you need help carrying things in?" He asks, looking at the boxes we place on the floor.

I shake my head, my hand still curled tight around the suitcase's handle. "This is all I have."

Initially, he seems shocked, but then he breathes out contently. "It's good to see you again, Mickey."

He pulls me into a tight embrace. I can't help but return it, suddenly realising just how much I missed being held by trustworthy arms. There's not a malicious twitch behind the strength he uses. It's just pure comfort, pure friendship. He's no longer the awkward scrawny kid that was easy to intimidate. He's gained some muscle, and it feels so safe to be in his presence.

We only pull away once Alex closes the front door.

"How was the drive?" Rian asks both of us, his teeth still on full display.

"Long," Alex answers with a huff, pulling his beanie off to run his hand through his hair before he puts it back on. "I can't wait to take a shower. But I'm going to do that tomorrow."

A shower does sound good. It will let me wash the remnants of Texas off my body. But I agree, I'm too exhausted to take a shower. Not only has the drive been tiring, but the emotional load of the past few days has been draining. Just three days earlier, I was going to bed for the last time in the rehab centre. Now I was in a completely different state with people I barely knew anymore.

"I set up the guest room," Rian tells me with a friendly glint in his eyes. "It's all ready for you to move in."