poems/qoutes/thoughts

Dear Mom, [Poem]

I look at the pictures of you on my wall
They look so real, but you... not at all

First you were gone for hours, then days, then weeks. It dawned on me that you'd never appear anymore

But I wanted you back

I wanted you now

Your soft hugs, your loving voice. You knew everything and how to do it just right

But now that your gone it's seems I've forgotten who you are.

When I look at those pictures, you don't seem real anymore

I used to have dreams of you where you'd come back, almost as if it was magic but when I'd wake up I realized it was fake

I looked over at the other side of my bed and said, "I'm awake."

You weren't there and nor was your scent. Your beautiful hair, your adoring gaze

My mother was gone

That I had to face.

It pondered over me whether heaven was real or not. Whether it was a dark void full of nothing or white fluffy clouds with a golden gate

But these distractions didn't change what happened. Whether heaven was real or not had nothing to do with your fate

With the people who were killed with the hands of death

The people who were killed with their last breath

The people who were killed with the tears of children at their bedside

Or the people who were killed having no one to save them when they died

They all chanted away, bringing the casket in and burying it into the ground

But when I saw your body at the visitation, I did not even feel anything. No remorse, no sadness, no tears filled my face. I don't even think I touched your body and that makes me feel fake

They all chanted, screamed, hollered and cried, saying: "in loving memory of Denise"

And that's when I knew you had died.