‼️TW: ANGST, SUICIDAL THOUGHT, TRAUMA‼️
As the morning came. Feng Xin wakes up right besides Mu Qing, he can't believe he stays with Mu Qing after all of their arguing and fighting. he can't describe how much he loves and how much he hates Mu Qing. but everytime he was in sensual with Mu Qing he can see he was doing it with Jian Lia, Making Feng Xin seizure.
As Mu Qing wakes up and looks worry as he held Feng Xin cheeks.
"Feng Xin are you okay...?" Mu Qing ask. But Feng Xin still cry hysterical.
"M-Mu Qi-Qing... I-It ke-eps coming back... I-I ca-can't ha-handle it an-anymore..." Feng Xin keeps crying like he was being brutally torture. Making Mu Qing worried.
"What coming back...?" Mu Qing held Feng Xin tightly.
"Th-those trau-trauma... I-I'm so-sorry bu-but I-I fe-feel li-like a who-whore wh-whenev-ever..." Sniff "I-I've don-done t-the sen-sensual with you..." Feng Xin cry in Mu Qing shoulder, he doesn't want that to repeat again.
"Its okay Feng Xin... mybe we should stop doing it if that makes you feel better?" Mu Qing ask in gentle tone.
"I-I wo-would b-but I t-try to sho-show you... how much I love you..." Feng Xin sobs.
"Its okay Feng Xin I still love you no matter what, there there's no needs to cry" Mu Qing whipes away Feng Xin tears. Feng Xin suddenly hugs Mu Qing tightly and doesn't want to let him go.
As later when they got into argument. Mu Qing had enought.
"SHUT UP! I'M DONE WITH YOU!" Mu Qing yelled as he walks away. Feng Xin was about to throws tantrum but his trauma keeps coming back. So Feng Xin quickly hugs Mu Qing and cry really hard.
"Mu Qing...! I-I'm sorry... I should've been better lover! pl-please I'll do anything to make you stay! anything just to makes you stay! I don't want to be alone again! I would kill myself just for you! anything but please STAY....!!!!!" Feng Xin yelled as he cried really hard and loudly he can't handle it anymore... Feng Xin WOULD do anything to make Mu Qing stay even if it cost death.
"F-Feng Xi-xin..." Mu Qing eyes widen as he hugs Feng Xin tightly.
"Mu Qing... haaaa... I don't wanna be alone again... haaaa..." Feng Xin keeps crying until his voice is gone, he felt like he was being tortured to keeps crying until he lost his breath voice.
"Stop trying to kill yourself...! you idiot! if you kill yourself just stay with me... we'll be separated... aparted... and... and... and... AND ITS NOT FAIR!!! I just wanna scream Feng Xin... why can't you understand... if no one can love you... then I will...!" Mu Qing crieds in pain hysterical. Slowly... Feng Xin and Mu Qing destroying themself together and break down together... they wanted to be together... but there's always something get in the way...
Learning the truth... Feng Xin had found his actual lover that actually stay forever in his side.
