BONUS DEAL || Hyunlix

Chapter 29 - Let me go

Felix's POV

I almost sprinted to the bathroom. I needed to get out of this circus. I was already grabbing the handle when I heard quick footsteps behind me. My heart was pounding, and I was afraid to turn around. To my surprise I was relieved to see Jihun instead of Hyunjin.

Not that I wanted to talk to him, but at this moment I was probably less nervous about him than I was about Mr. Hwang, who has been hypnotizing me with his gaze the entire dinner.

"Felix, I didn't get to finish before." He started hurriedly, whispering so that no one would overhear our conversation. There we were, talking in secret as always.

"What more is there to say? Jihun, you probably woke up this morning feeling like I didn't exist, so please leave it at that." I cut him off tiredly. I didn't want to reopen those old wounds.

"That's not true!" He raised his voice slightly and then immediately looked around in alarm. "I mean... I know I screwed up, I'm sorry, but I had no choice."

"What?" I giggled in disbelief. "You don't expect me to believe this, do you?"

"It's true. I... My parents were getting suspicious. You know how they are. They'd probably disown me." He explained and I just stared open mouthed.

"You can't be serious. So, because of their suspicions you cut off all contact with me overnight and got a girlfriend? That was your only option?" I felt myself begin to shake with rage.

"It's horrible, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else at the time. They... They saw us together once. It was nothing, we just hugged. I had to convince them for two hours that nothing was happening. They wanted me to stop seeing you." I watched his expression carefully. Jihun was great at manipulation and unfortunately even after all this time I couldn't tell if he was lying to me or not. "Look Lixie... It sounds like an excuse. I know. But I've also learned a few things about myself in all that time we didn't see each other. I've realized how unfair it all has been to you. I thought many times about calling you and explaining everything to you, but I was afraid. I was afraid of what you would say to me, that I would hurt you even more. And that you'll tell me I'm a piece of shit because I knew that would hurt me."

I shuddered after the sweet name calling.

"You could've told me. You could've texted me what happened. But you didn't. So yeah, you're a piece of shit." I told him the bare facts.

"I know... I'm so sorry."

"You said that already. How's your girlfriend, by the way?" I continued to attack him with my words. It finally dawned on me that after all that time, I'm the one here with my feet firmly on the ground, while Jihun doesn't know where to run from his conscience.

"There isn't one. It was just for a while so my parents would leave me alone. She's a friend, she was just playing the role." He mumbled sadly. Yes, I knew why it was so hard for Jihun to come out, I knew how conservative his parents were, and even though I felt sorry for his situation, I still stood by the fact that he should have told me.

"And what do you want from me now? Forgiveness? To make you feel better?"

"Maybe... But now I know it's a bit unrealistic. I guess I just want you to know how it really was. That's enough for me." He came closer to me and gave me a pleading look as if he needed me to understand him. To trust him.

And since I'm a hopeless case, his urgency told me there was some truth to the story. But that doesn't matter now.

"Okay. Thanks for telling me." I just said. I can't forgive him and forget everything, I can't fully trust him, but the fact that he didn't give up and tried to explain it to me meant something to me. "Now excuse me." I added and finally hid in the bathroom.