Fake it 'til we make it

F I V E

Song: Mirrorball
Artist's Name: Taylor Swift
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"Elijah,"

I pull away from him, his hands dropping to his sides. He becomes silent, his jaw clenched and he looked angrier than ever.

It scared the fuck out of me. I started to get a panic attack, was he gonna hit me? W-what was he gonna do..?

My eyes widen, as he rolls his eyes scoffing while turning around to head back to where he came from.

I started having a panic attack. I was still wet as fuck. I was cold, I was alone. It was dark.

Flashbacks echoed in my mind.
His voice.
His touch.
His face.
And the psychopath grin that had been haunting me for years, with the hysterical laughing.

I immediately collapse to the floor on my knees, holding myself in my arms. It felt like I couldn't speak.

I wanted to scream Elijah's name, but it was like the words were ripped out of my mind.

"E-E-EL-LIJA..H!!" I scream as loud as I could, but I doubt that he's still walking down the street.

"ELIJAHH!!!! PLEASE-P-PLEASE, E-ELI—" I shout again, screaming in the process, As I begin to see white spots, and my vision starts getting blurry.

I collapse to the ground head down. I guess he really wasn't coming. I think to myself, laughing.

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"I think she's awake,"
I open my eyes to come face to face with Astrid. She was one of the quiet and outcasts.

I quickly sit up, to find harlowe pacing worriedly in the living room. I wake up to Astrid's place.

Guess she was the one who found me.

A tear slips in my eyes as I check my phone. 3:07 AM. I sigh, quickly followed by many tears.

"W-what's wrong summer?" Astrid questions rushing to my side. "T-thanks for taking care of me."

"Hey it's no problem at all, and I guess you're upset about the video aren't you..?"

I shake my head. "Everything." I say wiping my tears, noticing some new bruises and scars.

"Uhm, I'm just gonna go home now.." They both nod, escorting me outside. We  all say goodbye to each other, and I proceed towards the street walking down.

Tears shed in my eyes. Why was I like this? Why did I expect that he would fucking come back for me?!

I threw the pebbles with my foot every time I cross on one. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I fucking hate him. I hate you Elijah. Fuck you fucker asshole dickhole—"

I get stopped by a hard wall walking into me again. "Summer." Of course it's him. "What the fuck were you just saying to me?"

I sigh terrified. "I hate you." He raises an eyebrow and clenches his jaw. "Why." He says harshly making me flinch.

"I—I called you. I fucking called your name.. FOR SO MANY FUCKING TIMES. DID YOU KNOW THAT I PASSED OUT FROM CONSTANT FEAR THAT SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN TO ME?!"

He looks at me forcefully with an angered expression. "How the fuck is that my fault?" He scoffs folding his arms.

"You really don't care.. do you." I say a tear slipping from my eye. Why was I feeling like this? Why did I care so much about him caring about me?

I'm just me. Boring old, ugly, fat, emotional, me.

He just glares at me. I hold back my tears, as I look down, passing through his side to get home.

Once I passed him, tears immediately started falling down my face. Why did I expect him to even care for me?

"God summer, just don't be fucking pathetic for at least once." I say to myself, tears falling on the concrete sidewalk.

I sigh, once I get home. Guess party's over. I see a beer bottle on the ground on the front porch..

I grasp it, and smash it to the floor, get a piece and scrape the glass on my skin leaving blood and scars all over my body.

"The fuck summer."

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