♡ The Ruins of Dawn ♡

2|| A Punch To The Gut

"And yes, his name is Charles and I love him." She said, staring me down to see how I'd react. 

The truth is I was frozen, my feet glued to the ground. I wanted to scream, maybe cry, run away, hide, anything except stand here looking at her. But I couldn't move. 

Love? Didn't they meet like last night at the bar? What was going on?! 

My head was spinning. I was sure I was gonna throw up. She hadn't said she loved any guy since Dad. Especially not a guy she just met.

"You.. you ..love him?" I asked, a lump forming in my throat, I'm trying so hard to keep breathing. 

"You just met last night?" Mum looked at the ground; she only does that when she's either guilty or avoiding a question.

 "Hmm" she hummed. And then it hit me, she was actually nervous. Mum was never nervous, not even for job interviews, so I know something's up.

"Just tell me what it is" She looked up at me when she heard the words leave my mouth.

"Please don't hate me but.." great way to start off a sentence right? I've already heard the L word after 1 night. It can't get any worse can it? It's not like they're getting married. Ew Millie stop. "Me and Charles have been dating for 6 months and we're getting married"

Hahahahah. I was waiting for the just kidding but it never came. 

I looked up at my Mum and all I could see was shame, and then there it was. The piece of the puzzle that had finally been clicked into place. 

When I said I couldn't breathe before I was exaggerating a little but now I actually couldn't breathe. The lump in my throat grew 5 times in size and I felt like I was going to topple over. Angry tears spilled out and I continued to try to swallow the lump. 

How could she lie to my face for 6 whole months? 

She promised me every time Dad was brought up that men were a waste of time and that it would always be me and her. But the fact that she didn't even trust me to tell me. Did she think I was going to scare and annoy this guy away like I did to Dad? My head was spinning so fast that I felt sick. 

She was getting married! She never even married Dad. What is going on?

"Oh. my. Fucking. God." I rasped between breaths. I couldn't dare meet her eyes. It was a huge punch to the gut. My head was spinning so fast that I felt sick. And my lungs screamed for air. Before I even realized what was happening I was sitting on the floor with my back against the wall. Crying, screaming to anyone who would listen but the more I cried the more I found it hard to breathe. I tried to control my breathing but it just seemed to make it worse. I started hyperventilating and couldn't stop. My whole body was shaking. Her words echoed around my head

We're getting married

I couldn't think. Couldn't see. The tears blurred my vision. All I could make out was Mum sitting beside me. Holding me. Let me take it in. But I couldn't because the anger was too much. The lies were too much.

"Don't touch me, you fucking liar!" I screamed through tears and flinched away. I could make out the hurt on her face but I could care less.

"Look, the weddings next month and I'd love for you to meet them and be my flower girl" Mum attempted to smile. 

Was she being for real right now?

"What do you mean by them, are you seriously marrying more than 1 guy?? I'm not surprised to be honest, that you're that desperate! You know what? You can take the fucking flowers and shove them up your ass for all I care!" I screamed and buried my face in my knees, I couldn't do this.

"No of course not who do you think I am?" 

Does she really want me to answer that right now? 

"I mean them as in Charles and your 5 future step brothers." brothers? Oh fuck no.

"Could this get any worse!" I cried.

"What are you talking about Millie? You're being selfish! We finally have the chance to be happy and be a part of a family. I get it this is big but is it too much to ask that you're happy for me!" Now Mum was screaming. Don't you just love arguments? I don't know how I can still be so snarky when I'm dying on the inside, but it's a coping mechanism.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize I wasn't enough for you and that you're so unhappy!" I screamed back. Mum stopped. Her eyes turned guilty looking. She took my hands in hers and something in me didn't pull away.

"Millie, you will always be my everything, but I need someone else in my life as well. Do you know how hard to raise a beautiful girl like you is?"

Ok what? So we went from yelling to calling me beautiful? The thing is I understand where she's coming from. She'd never show it of course but I could tell it was hard for her. But how could I trust her now? After all the lies that came out of her mouth. Just as I was about to answer the doorbell rang. No one ever comes to our house. Who is it?

"You're so beautiful, remember that." Mum said as she squeezed my hands and went to answer the door. I couldn't be bothered to see who it was. I just continued to cry silently into my knees and take shaky breaths in and out and try to let this all sink in.

"Millie come here please, I want you to meet someone." I pushed myself off the floor, tried to wipe my eyes and look happy, and made my way to the front door. Just as I stepped into the hallway I got a view of who was now standing in my living room.

"What the actual fuck?" 

1533 words!

another chapter done! what do you think we would love your feedback<3