TDS Oneshots - Love in the Air

🎄 Elf Rebellion 💣

"Perhaps the elves have decided to go off strike? Maybe this Christmas won't be ruined after all!" Santa Claus foolishly opened the door.

As soon as he did, a green elf grabbed him by the neck. He pushed Santa into the room and strangled him. Inside his other hand were a pair industrial scissors. The elf was acting out of character. His eyes were a malicious purple.

"Saint Nicholas, you are now under arrest by the Elf Workers Union for your crimes against the people of the North Pole. Glory to the revolution. Hail Krampus!" The elf squeezed Mister Claus' neck.

Santa turned blue as the elf choked him. The Elf raised the industrial scissors towards Kris Kringle's neck. The sharp blade was close to slitting his throat. Saint Nicholas didn't understand what was going on, or why this elf was trying to hurt him.

Saint Nicholas was starting to feel his eyes get heavy. The blood flow to his brain was cut off. He thought he was going to die. That was until, from behind the elf, he saw his wife run towards them with a metal tray above her head.

"Merry Christmas motherfucker!" Mrs. Claus slammed a fresh tray of cookie on an elf's skull. "And a happy New Years, bitch..."

The elf's head was bleeding like a faucet. A pool of blood surrounded its body. Santa Claus was horrified. Missus Claus dropped the metal tray, which had a giant dent in it. She looked like a maniac. She huffed and puffed after this son of a bitch midget tried murdering her husband.

"Don't touch him..." she growled.

"I..." Santa was flabbergasted.

Two more elves appeared in the doorway. They saw their dead comrade on the floor of the kitchen. A bloody mess. They looked up and saw Mrs. Claus with a splat of blood on her face. They immediately understood what happened.

"GET THEM!!!" an elf cried out.

Mrs. Claus grabbed a candy cane from a jar. She bit a chunk of it off and spat it out. She had a sharp piece of candy cane. She plunged it into the neck of one of the elves. The elf grabbed his neck and screamed. He choked on his own blood and collapsed onto the ground.

The second elf grabbed Mrs. Claus with both arms. He tried to strangle her with his forearm. Mrs. Claus head-butted the elf straight in the face. His nose cracked. The elf let go and grabbed his shattered nose. Blood was oozing out. She turned around, grabbed the elf's head and kneed him in the face. The elf fell to the ground. Most likely dead.

"WE NEED TO GO!" Missus Claus ordered. "THE ELVES HAVE GONE MAD, THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US!"

Missus Claus grabbed her husband's hand and they dashed out of the room. They rushed down the flight of stairs and entrered Santa's workshop. As soon as they touched the factory ground, the worker elves at the conveyer belts began charging at them. The workshop immediately turned into a brawl.

As Mrs. Claus fought her way through the hordes of elves, two giant snowmen entered the fight. They were three times the size of the two tiny humans. They reached down and grabbed both of them. Mrs. Claus and Santa struggled to get out of their snowy grip.

"You are under arrest. Please do not resist," one of the snowmen nonchalantly ordered them.

Mrs. Claus swiped an aerosol-spraycan and a lighter. She lit the lighter and aligned the spray can. A beam of fire shot through the air and hit a snowman in the face. Half his head melted into water. The snowmen released them. Mr. Claus and Mrs. Claus booked it out of there.