BLAZE: Of Passion And Allure

11. TIRED

Why wouldn't he though? He's the youngest managing director in the whole Silicon Valley. Pranav Sharma had made his name in California. Good for him.

I hadn't allowed myself to contact him after he left and he too made no initiatives. We were in a cold war for almost a year, which seemed childish to everyone else. But when he missed the wedding that's when he broke my heart.

He was supposed to be there and he wasn't. I refused to hear his apologies about how he's at the most important junction of his career and can't make it.

It continued and my anger finally melted enough when I got pregnant and he promised that he'll be here for that day. He's two years and seven months late for that.

“ How are you? ” He asked, his voice gravely different from what I remember. Well I don't exactly remember.

“ Good. ” I answered, not asking him the same, I saw the barely held smile pulling down from his face but I chose to ignore it.

“ I have a question for you. ” I don't want to do this but I have to, I have to know if he too, like maa and papa chose to include me in decisions of my own life.

“ What is it? ” He said and I saw the hope in his eyes that something might be the same.
I was a curious kid and my love language used to ask questions, silly I know but it was my way of sharing my knowledge with people I love.

But that's not the intention here.

“ Did you know about it too? ”

“ About what? ”

“ Shourya and Arohi. ” I said and it hurt to even ask. Their betrayal still stings, the bite still fresh in my heart as if they took a chunk out of it when they died.

I would've given them my blessings had they been honest about it but they used the most vile way to deceive me. I hate Shourya for doing that but mostly I wonder if the Shourya I knew was even real. Because I had seen him caring for me, adoring me and the excitement he had for Aadi's birth was unmistakable, that's what made it so hard to believe.

He was so convincing that I never doubted him or maybe I was too naive to suspect him. Whatever it was it broke me, it made me suspect everything, everyone around me.

“ No, I didn't. I swear Ishu that I would've told you the moment I had any idea of that. ” He said in such a rush as if afraid I wouldn't believe him. No one can blame me if I really don't but I'll do it for now. Not because I trust him, no, only because it doesn't matter anymore. He doesn't matter anymore.

“ Okay. ”
“ Ishu… I.. ”
“ My name is Prisha and if you didn't notice, I'm busy. I have work to do just like you did five years ago. ” It was pure revenge speaking, I knew it and I wasn't doing anything to stop it. He could've prevented it, I may be happy with the outcome but I damn sure lost myself in the process. And he doesn't get to call me that after he disappeared from my life for years, not coming back even when I needed him.

And I did, I fuckin’ did. I needed him when my husband died, I needed him when I learned my parents hid the truth from me, that they too betrayed me. I needed him when those reporters swarmed me, he is my brother, he was supposed to be with me. He was supposed to be my shield when I couldn't face the storm outside, he was supposed to be my strength when I nearly lost my mind. But he wasn't there. He was busy making his damn career and he should go back to it for all I care.

“ Ish—”
“ Enough. You can go to Agnihotri house if you'd like to see my son or go to your own home but leave now. ”

“ He's my nephew as well. And the home you called mine is yours as well. ” There was a defensiveness in his tone now, like he was trying to make a statement, a fact.

“ I don't think my son had an uncle for whatever life he has lived yet. And as for your home, it stopped being mine the day our parents decided to deceive me. ”

“ That's not how you talk. That's not what maa taught us. ” He said and this time I sensed anger in his tone. How dare he get angry after all he'd done or hadn't done.

A chuckle left me and it turned into laughter. I couldn't stop, not when he froze, not when tears filled my eyes but I refused to cry. I haven't in years and I won't start now. I stood up from my seat and looked him dead in the eye.

“ You know what's the last thing I remember about maa? That she knew my husband was cheating on me and she still kept saying how lucky I was to have him. I sometimes wonder if she even felt guilty about it. ”

I said and I was glad my voice didn't shake. I have no idea how I even managed to voice it but I'm glad I did.

“ She does. You know it. ” He said, his voice breaking as if he was in pain because of this. But he's not the only one feeling it, I've felt it everyday for the past three years and for reasons far different than his.

“ That's the problem. I don't. Because you know what she said to me after everything that happened? She asked me, no, she informed me that she wants me to get married again and leave my son to her. Like hell I would. ”

He flinched as if I physically slapped him, a corner of my heart softened, the part that still believes her brother is the best and it pleaded that I stop but the larger part of me, the one that still bears the scars of that year is angry and it doesn't want to stop. So I continued, I declared what he should have understand by now.

“ And yes. He's. Just. My. Son. Mine. I don't think she has any right to him after she suggested separating him from me. The only reason I haven't exactly cut her off is because she gave birth to me, nothing more. "

“ You can be a part of his life as much as maa and papa are but other than that don't expect me to do anything else. ” I said once and sat back.

He wanted to say something but he stopped. Good for me, because I don't have the energy to pretend I'm fine. He needs to leave before I break down in front of him.

“ One more thing. Don't get too close to Aadi. ” I couldn't help but say as he inched closer to the door.

“ What do you mean? ” I didn't miss the accusation in his tone so I made sure he heard mine as well, “ I don't want him missing you once you leave. I don't want him to get attached to a person who'll only leave when it matters the most. ”

“ Ishu—” I didn't give him the chance to finish before I pressed the bell and called for Aditi.
“ Aditi, escort Mr. Sharma out. ”

My limbs gave up just as he left the room. Tingles erupted in my back as I moved, my back stiff from the tension I had been holding. I laid back and closed my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay but failing when one of them slipped out. I'd allow myself this one moment, just one and then I'll stop. But for now I'll feel, even if it's just for a moment, I'll feel everything I've been trying not to. Because it's tiring to pretend I'm okay, that it doesn't affects me. And I'm tired. Too tired. Just a moment of reprieve will do. It will have to do.

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Hey chèries❤
I hope all of you are good.

I have zero clue how this chapter turned out and I feel like if I read it I might just delete it, so I'm not taking the risk while I'm still in that space of mind.

So remember to vote and comment. It's my energy booster.

Happy reading ❤
~Author🌹