You'll Always Have My Shoulder When You Cry

Awkward and More Awkward

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Luca fell asleep, and I'm so awkward. Why am I so awkward? Oh yes, because I have no idea how to act in front of kids. All the kids I've met are bratty, and Luca is just scared, well, naturally, because of that stupid bitch. And whose fault is that? Me. Maybe everything would be better if I wasn't alive. Matt wouldn't have to deal with his stupid little brother who keeps getting injured. Sandro might have some personal life, friends or something. My brothers probably love me out of obligation. And Andres... Oh fuck, this shit. I sound like a weak, pathetic asshole.

I'm gonna go to the gym to escape myself. Wait, am I bottling my emotions? Yes, but who gives a fuck? At least I'm self-aware. I'm too lazy to go to the gym. I could watch a movie on my phone? Don't fucking judge me; I never had time for all this shit, okay? Unlike you pathetic losers who just lay on your couch, I can read a book.I sat on my sofa, which was now my bed thanks to Luca. I picked "The Mortal Instruments" by Cassandra Clare. Damn, I love that book.

I finished more than half of the book, and I heard whimpering. At first, I thought about getting out my gun, wondered who the fuck is in my bedroom, but then I remembered Luca. I carefully ran. Yes, I can carefully run because I'm a fucking assassin; you have to run sometimes without making a noise—usually all of them end up dead.

Luca was panting like he had run hundreds of miles and sweating so much I'm sure someone would have thought he just came out of the swimming pool. He was whimpering in his sleep. What the fuck do I do? Should I wake him up?

I tried my best to be gentle and all that shit and gently shook his head, but at this point, I'm convinced that the only meaning of being gentle for Luca was to not be beaten to death like trash. He opened his eyes and sat straight up, tears streaming down his face like a river. He looked scared, but not of me. I didn't want to trigger him or something, so I removed my hand from his shoulder. Now how do I calm someone who doesn't want to be touched? How fucking stupid am I? I can use my mouth to say words. Wait, what do I say? Be comforting. How? Oh, screw it; I'll wing it.

"Luca, the people who hurt you aren't going to lay a finger on you, okay? I won't hurt you at all," I said gently. I think I said it gently.

I reached for a blanket nearby and gently draped it over Luca's shoulders because he was shivering and trembling. Whenever I woke up from a nightmare, I would wrap myself literally in the blankets. Okay, well, maybe not literally, but oh well, I DGAF. Luca was sitting on the bed, not looking at me, and I was also sitting on the bed, which I now realized was scaring him, so I went back to my sofa. Maybe I should start calling it my bed.

Luca was still nervous, and I hated how scared he felt because of me. So I left my room and called Andres, who was my...boyfriend? No? Yes? Maybe?

"Hey."

"What do you mean 'hey'? Explain how, where, who, and WHEN?" He screamed so loudly I had to pull the phone away from my ears.

"Do you want my eardrum to break?"

"No, of course not. How else will you listen to my beautiful voice?" I rolled my eyes.

"Stop rolling your eyes and answer my question." Is this guy ordering me around? To quote Alexander Lightwood 'I'm not your bitch'.

Oh, I'm going to make him pay.

"Which question? You asked many."

"Answer all my questions."

"But how can I answer all your questions simultaneously?"

"Shut UP." This guy wants my eardrums not to get damaged but to burst.

"But if I shut up, how will I answer all your questions?"

"Alessio, please tell me." Okay, he was getting mad right now, but IDGAF.

"Tell you what?"

"Tell me the answer to my questions." He practically gritted it out.

"But that would be answering and not telling."

Silence.

More silence.

Awkward silence.

Very awkward silence.

"I got a call at 3 in the fucking morning—"

"Wait, YOU'RE HAVING NIGHTMARES AGAIN??" This guy wants to make me beg him to shut up. Is this his secret way to torture people?

"Shut up and listen; a social worker called me and told me that Luca was in the hospital, so—"

"What? Is he okay?" Bruh.

"No, he's dead," I deadpanned.

"Alessio, stop giving me sarcastic answers all the time." Can he shut up? I could hang up.

"I'll stop giving sarcastic answers when you stop asking stupid questions."

Andres sighed on the other end of the line. "Fine, just tell me what happened with Luca." Meany.

"As I was saying, Luca needed surgery due to his lovely mother." I hate talking about this; why couldn't he just text me? It's much quicker. Oh, wait, I called him. Damn.

"Explain." Now he said it in the 'I'm a cold, ruthless mafia don' voice.

"Andres, Luca was abused, and it was bad." Should I tell him or should I not tell him? To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Meh, I'll wing it.

"Alessio...—" I cut him off from his sympathy speech because it was weird and awkward.

"It's exactly the way I would torture someone." It is true, and I only do it to sick mental people, not a child.

"How?" Wtf, do you mean how?

"How are you so dumb? You see that question-"

"Stop doing what you always do and tell me."

"I always start with breaking the ribs, feeding that person only on Monday, but Luca was not fed at all, then I break the 3rd and 4th costae verae, which are your ribs, and then hot water, and then cold water, and you know the rest."

"They did that to a kid?" He asked like a toddler. See what I mean? Stupid questions.

"Who are they? I would love to meet them." Me too, but it's mainly my fault.

"Sandro's working on it." Sandro, my amazing brother, was searching for them. He is not amazing; I was being sarcastic.

"I would love to join him."

"You do you."

"So how is, you know..." Does he think I'm a psychic?

"Are you going to complete your sentence?"

"How's Luca, like not on the physical aspect?" Well, why couldn't he say that in the first place?

⚔️ ♔ $ ♫THE END FOR NOW  ♫ $ ♔ ⚔️

213 reads!! I don't know why I'm happy about that but anywho..

I have a question *Sponge Bob voice*

What type of books do you guys like the most? 

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Byeee for now